


Dead End Road

by BrokenWings0712



Series: Roadway Confessions [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 13, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, Angst, Bathroom Sex, F/M, Fluff, Guilt, Hurt Castiel, Kissing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Soulmates, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-29 20:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13934712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenWings0712/pseuds/BrokenWings0712
Summary: It wasn't like I was an idiot. I knew exactly why we were there, why an angel of the freaking Lord was desperately clinging to life on a stainless steel table while humans tried to repair the physical damage done to his vessel.I'd made a dangerous mistake, and Castiel had paid the price.Maybe I was an idiot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmm, so new OFC, new story, new pairing, and a new nagging in my brain. Looks like it's time to see where my mind takes me this time. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

It was all my fault. 

My left leg had fallen asleep a long time ago on the hard plastic chair, and I shifted in hopes that doing so would improve my circulation. I frowned at the lack of change and rubbed at my closed eyes before sitting back with a sigh. I stretched my neck to each side, feeling the small crack and pop in my spine, before glancing down the hall at the set of heavy metal doors Castiel had disappeared behind a few hours ago.

"Impatient much?" the man in front of me grunted. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him and instead settled for an icy glare in his direction. It was a look I'd learned from my dad years ago when I or my siblings found ourselves in trouble. It was the kind of stare that made the three of us snap to attention and tremble in our seats, and further reprimand was rarely needed once our father looked away. Hell, I'd even seen grown men shrink back when they'd gotten "the look" from him. My dad wasn't physically intimidating, he'd inherited his father's small build, and he was really polite most of the time, but rub him the wrong way and suddenly years of being picked on combined with a few tours with the U.S. Marines totaled up to the fear of God being struck into whoever had pissed him off. 

I channeled my old man and clenched my jaw while narrowing my eyes just a hair as I stared at the man leaning against the wall with his arms crossed tightly across his chest. He's still the only person I've ever seen "the look" not affect. At least, he didn't act like it did anyway as he glared back, the muscle in his jaw ticking rapidly. 

"Bite me, Winchester," I spit. 

"Keep pushing me, and I just might," he retorted as his shoulders pulled away from the mint green wall. I suppose it was meant to be a calming color--hospitals are usually decorated up that way--but our surroundings had done little to alleviate our foul moods.

"Seriously, Dean?" Sam asked from his spot beside me. He dropped his phone in his lap and blinked tiredly up at his older brother. "If you can't keep a lid on your temper, why say anything at all?"

"Dude! She's the reason we're even here in the first place!" Dean pointed at the O.R. entreance. "If it wasn't for Melanie over there, we would've been on our merry freaking way hours ago instead of sitting on our asses while Cas is under the damn knife!" He huffed and fell back against the wall while wiping a hand down his face.

Sam tensed but remained silent, and I could feel his eyes on me as I stared at the blood stained lines running across my right palm. While Dean had been shooting me harsh glares full of judgement, his brother's eyes had been full of pity ever since the staff had taken Castiel's body from us and placed him on a stretcher where they immediately began working to stop the incessant bleeding coming from his chest. It wasn't like I was an idiot. I knew exactly why we were there, why an angel of the freaking Lord was desperately clinging to life on a stainless steel table while humans tried to repair the physical damage done to his vessel. 

I'd made a dangerous mistake, and Castiel had paid the price.

Maybe I was an idiot. 

I stood abruptly and winced when a stabbing pain shot through my leg, the blood flow returning with a vengeance. "I'm gonna try to wash some of this off," I mumbled to no one in particular while striding for the bathroom I'd seen on the way in. 

"Melanie, wait!" Sam called from behind me. I stopped and raised my eyes to the speckled tiles on the ceiling, silently begging God to give me a break, just this once. A large hand fell on my shoulder, and I could almost hear the Almighty laughing in the distance. Sam circled to stand in front of me. "This isn't your fault, you know."

I snorted. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, but no thanks, Sam. I don't need you lying to make me feel better or whatever." My eyes fell to the deep red stain on his sleeve, and I sucked in a sharp breath. "I just need a minute," I told him before shrugging his hand off and brushing past his hulking frame.

He released an exasperated sigh as I practically ran away, and I didn't look back to see if he'd gone back to Dean when I yanked open the bathroom door and stumbled in. A strangled sob escaped my lips, and I spun to lock the door before going over to the small sink. I turned the hot water on full blast and frantically scrubbed at my skin while pink water droplets stained the porcelain basin.

The pendant hanging from my neck flashed in the mirror, drawing my attention to my reflection, and I shuddered. I didn't even recognize the person staring back at me anymore. I shut the water off and wiped a tear out of my eyes so I could see more clearly and braced my dripping hands on the edges of the sink.

How the hell had I gotten here?


	2. Chapter 2

The beginning...

I woke with a start, my eyes flying open as my heart threatened to jump from my chest. My bedroom was still dark, and the digital clock on my nightstand told me it was just after four in the morning. I groaned and slapped a hand over my eyes. Just a nightmare, I thought. It was just another nightmare. Still, when I closed my eyes, all I could see was a tan trenchcoat flapping wildly in the wind and the cold blue eyes of a dark haired man, so I immediately removed my hand and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. 

I gathered my hair into a ponytail and was pulling it through an elastic tie when a car's headlights shone through my thin curtains and illuminated the room for a moment. I froze, eyes wide and limbs like lead, as they flashed across a figure standing in the corner. With a gasp, I spun and slammed the light switch on the wall while grabbing for the bat I kept by the door, but when I turned back around the man was gone. My cat raised his head off the bed and blinked in the bright light, disdain rolling off him in waves.

"Sorry, dude," I told him while lowering the bat. "These nightmares are really starting to freak me out."

The grey tabby stretched and jumped off the bed to rub against my bare shins, meowing incessantly up at me. I reached down and scratched behind his ears and under his chin a few times before slipping off into the bathroom. After I'd relieved myself and threw on my work clothes, I brushed my teeth and made my way into the kitchen to feed my little monster and start some coffee. 

The apartment was small, boasting a whopping one bedroom and bath, tiny kitchen, and what I supposed passed for a living room, but it was just myself and Chief, my cat, so we didn't need a whole lot. I had been there a couple of years now, but other than the very basics, I'd done little in the way of decorating. I had a bed and small dresser, an old loveseat I picked up at Goodwill, and a coffee table in front of the television where I ate all my meals. One painting hung above a small bookcase that was absolutely overflowing with worn out paperbacks, but that was it. Again, not much, but it was home.

The coffee finished dripping, and I went about prepping my thermos with the liquid gold while pouring the remaining cup into a small mug and settled in on the couch to catch the local news and weather. 

"Rain again, Chief," I murmured as the cat curled up in my lap. "Looks like I'll need to leave a bit earlier this morning if I'm going to make it to the diner on time."

I took a sip of coffee and frowned as the overly done anchor woman relayed information on the latest murder victim in town. Young woman, late-twenties, last seen leaving work alone two nights ago, found last night in the alley behind the club where she waited tables. That was the third waitress in two weeks, and to say it was making me uneasy was an understatement. Luckily I worked the breakfast shift at the diner, so hopefully I wouldn't have to run into any creeps when I left.

I glanced down at my watch and moved Chief to the cushion beside me before rinsing my empty mug in the sink and placing it upside down in the dish drainer. Next, I did a final walk through my apartment, cutting off lights and lowering the A/C as I went, and I snagged my raincoat and purse off the hook before going outside and hurriedly locking the door behind me. I pulled my jacket tightly around my body and shoved my hands in my pockets before taking off down the sidewalk, my sneakers slapping with each step. 

Walking to work before dawn never really bothered me before now. I used to enjoy the sleeping city and the way the streetlights shone on the pavement, but ever since that first woman was murdered, the magic of empty streets turned menacing, and the lack of people went from charming to dangerous. I've always heard there was safety in numbers--too bad it took fitting the victim profile to make me realize the truth in that statement. 

"Melanie!" the old fry cook called from behind the counter when I pushed open the front door.

"Hey, Marty," I grinned as I shook the water droplets from my coat. I made my way to the back and quickly stashed my things before returning to the front.

"D'ya bring coffee, Mel?" He asked, eyes shining with excitement. I held the thermos over my head and giggled as his smile grew. 

"You know, you'd think that Pat and Dave would get better coffee for this place, seeing as how we're open so early." 

The coffee here stunk, plain and simple. It was too bitter, too weak, and did little more than caffeinate the person ingesting it. The couple who owned the joint said it was a more cost-effective choice than other brands, and maybe it was, but that didn't mean we had to drink it. Thus, the tradition Marty and I shared was born. Since we worked most mornings together, we took turns supplying coffee that was actually worth the two of us drinking. He'd actually started the routine when he had "unintentionally" made more than he could drink alone, and when I noticed he had no intention of stopping, I offered to start bringing some as well. 

"Nah," Marty said as I handed him a cup. "All they care about is what's green."

I huffed a small laugh in agreement and took a sip while the front door opened. "Time to work," I told him and tied on my apron. 

Two men walked in and took a seat at the bar. The blonde one shot me a wink and a killer smile as I approached them. I smiled politely in return and let my hands fall onto the worn countertop as I looked between them. "Hi, guys. What can I get you?"

The male model type settled his forearms on the edge across from me and leaned in. "Two coffees black. I'll have the platter with bacon, and this guy will have whatever healthnut rabbit food you've got this time of day."

I raised a brow at him and turned to the other man who was currently scowling at his friend. When I cleared my throat, he sent me an apologetic smile. "Sorry, uh, I'll have an eggwhite omelet and fruit if you've got it."

"Marty was slicing up a cantaloupe when I came in," I offered. 

"Sounds good."

"Alright, fellas. Let me put your order in, and I'll be right back with your coffees." 

I could hear them quietly arguing about something behind me as I poured their drinks, but I couldn't quite catch the words that flowed between them, not that it was any of my business anyway, but it was early, and I was bored, so call me curious. They clammed up when I dropped off the two steaming mugs of coffee, which only served to strengthen my need to know what they'd been discussing. 

"You know," I said casually while wiping down a section of the bar near the two men, "I was kinda expecting a slow morning because of the weather and whatnot. What brings you guys out so early into the storm?"

"Business," the blonde told me. 

I gave him a strange look of disbelief, and the other man spoke up. "We work some at night, so we're actually just now getting a chance for some food. This was the only place open, so we figured we'd stop in and grab a bite."

"Yeah?" I questioned with a tilt of my head. "What do y'all do?"

"We're FBI, been investigating the murders here in town," blondie supplied. 

"Oh." I averted my eyes and went back to scrubbing a spot on the bar. 

"Do you know anything about the women who passed?" the other man asked.

"No, I just, I'm a waitress, you know? And things like that tend to make you a little wary when you fit the profile." I shrugged and twisted the rag in my hands. "I saw where a third victim was found, and it kinda freaked me out."

"But you don't know anything else about it?" he prompted. 

"Just what's on the news." Marty rang the bell at the window signifying their ready order. "I'll be right back, guys. Need any refills?" They shook their heads at me, and I made my way over to pick up their food.

"Thanks, Marty." The front door opened again to let another customer inside while I was grabbing the agents' plates, and I called to the person over my shoulder. "Be right with you!" 

I was so busy focusing on not burning my hands on the hot plates that I didn't notice the new patron had taken a seat directly beside the blonde agent. 

"Okay," I said as I placed the platter in front of him. "A platter and side of--Jesus!" I sputtered when I looked up. The new customer, anotherman who looked exactly like the one in my dreams, tilted his head to the side as he peered at me through narrowed, steely blue eyes that contrasted sharply with his wild hair and sun kissed skin. My breath caught in my throat, and I took a step back, my hips knocking into the shelves behind me.

"You okay, miss?" the blonde guy asked me.

I stared wide-eyed at the dark haired man in front of me as I attempted to compose myself. "Fine," I mumbled before straightening. "Sorry, you look eerily similar to someone I know."

"I don't believe we've ever met," dream guy told me, and I wondered briefly if he was a smoker or if that growl came naturally to him. 

"No, no, I'm sure we haven't." I managed a small smile and continued. "I'd definitely remember if we had. Can I get you anything?" His eyes were curious, but he shook his head once, and I took the opportunity to leave with gratitude. "Just let me know if you change your mind." With that, I scurried off to the kitchen, letting the swinging door fall shut behind me.

"Melanie, you okay?" Marty asked.

I was leaning against the wall, eyes closed and a hand pressed against my chest as I tried to catch my breath. "Aces."

I heard him approach me, so I didn't jump when he placed a tentative hand on my arm. He wasn't usually the touchy feely type, so I especially appreciated his attempt to comfort me. "You sure? You're kinda pale, kid."

Opening my eyes, I gave him as much of a smile as I could muster. "I'm fine, Marty, really. Now let's get the stock out before Dave shows up, huh?"

We went about pulling the various crates full of food from the freezer and dry goods storage, and I was just gathering up a load of dry coffee packs to take out front when someone tapped the small ball beside the cash register. I carried my box to the front and set it on the floor behind the counter before stepping up to run the FBI guys' ticket. I noticed the blue eyed man was still with them and still staring at me, but he hung back while the blonde guy paid.

Dave, my boss, walked in right as I was counting out their change, the ever present frown he wore firmly in place. "Melanie," he barked. "Lisa quit, so I need you to stay til closing tonight."

"You're kidding!" I gawked. I loved the kid, but she was just a teenager and had a habit of being a bit unreliable anyway, so I wasn't surprised she'd left, but I was appalled at my boss making me stay all day. "Dave, I opened this morning. Can't we find someone else to work it?" I asked while handing the agent his receipt. 

Dave grunted a hello to the men before turning back to me. "Donna is sick, and Crystal won't pick up the phone. Pat will swing by later to give you a break, but that's all the help you'll have today."

I pressed my lips into a line and nodded. "Okay, fine." He walked on into the kitchen, and I sighed. The FBI guys waved at me as they headed out into the storm, and I waved back as a sense of dread washed over me.

It was going to be a long day.


	3. Chapter 3

The day dragged on. 

Pat eventually came in around two to give me a half hour lunch, and Marty was replaced by our other cook, Jerry, a little after twelve, but we were so packed all day that what break I did get felt like nothing compared to the sixteen hour day on my feet. Luckily I had tomorrow off, but at this point I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through the walk home. It was just after closing when Jerry left me alone to finish mopping the floors out front. 

I was singing along to the Meghan Trainor CD I'd popped in when I heard the door open behind me. I turned around to see a man about my age wearing a black leather jacket and jeans.

"Sorry," I told him, "but we're closed." 

"Oh, that's okay. I heard you singing while I was walking by and just had to meet you. You've got a beautiful voice." I blushed, and he stepped forward with an outstretched hand. "Todd Bailey."

"Melanie Wilson," I replied and shook his hand. His skin was cool to the touch, and when I touched him the chill traveled up my arm to my spine. Alarm bells started ringing in my head. Something about this guy was definitely off. "Thanks for the compliment, but you're really not supposed to be here after closing. My boss will kill me if he finds out."

He stuck his hands in his pockets and grinned at me. "You afraid of a little trouble?"

"No, but I gotta pay the bills somehow." I put the mop back into the bucket and carried them both back behind the counter, using the bar as a barrier between us. "Seriously, you've gotta go," I told him.

"Seriously," he said slowly as his smile turned menacing, "I don't have to do anything, sweetheart." 

Shit!

"What do you want?" I questioned with a surprisingly steady voice. Maybe it was just a robbery. Please, God, just let it be a robbery. 

He crept towards the counter and pressed his palms flat against the top of it before leaning across it. "I wasn't lying when I said you have a beautiful voice, Melanie. In fact, I think I'd like to hear it again. Why don't you sing me a little something, hmm?"

"Why don't you go screw yourself," I spit back while letting my hand drift under the counter for the small pistol we kept strapped there. Dave wasn't the best boss, but he wasn't an idiot either, and he figured the day would come when some psycho would show up, so periodically he made sure all his employees took a gun safety course and knew how to shoot. I'd learned to use a rifle years ago going hunting with my dad, and when I moved to the city he insisted I keep a .22 pistol in my apartment. 

Todd's hand shot out and captured my elbow just as I grasped the handle, and I jerked my arm up and fired, hitting him squarely in the chest. I guess the look on my face was pretty funny when he didn't drop, because the man started laughing so hard tears sprung up in his eyes.

"Oh, sweetheart. You're gonna have to do a lot more than that to take me down," he howled.

I began tugging hard to try and get away, but his grip was like iron, and I knew I'd have a large bruise where his fingers circled my arm. I shifted my weight and threw a left hook at his jaw, and he snarled when it connected, loosening his hand just enough that I could twist out of his hold and take off running. 

I knew I probably didn't stand a chance beating him to the front door, so I burst through the swinging door into the kitchen with Todd hot on my heels. My only hope was going to be making it into the back alley by way of the service exit, and I cursed as I realized that's probably exactly where he wanted me to go. 

I ran out into the night, my heart pounding as my feet slapped against the wet pavement, but I couldn't afford to slow down. If I could just make it to the street, maybe I could find some help. I couldn't hear him behind me anymore over the sound of the rain, but something in my gut propelled me forward, refusing to let myself believe in the possibility of being safe just yet.

Just as I reached the sidewalk, I saw a long black car roll slowly up the street, and I fired a shot straight up into the air to grab the driver's attention. It was a big no-no in the gun world--what goes up must come down, afterall--but it was also a move born from desperation as was running straight out in front of the car. 

The impact was so sudden I didn't even feel the pain.  
_____________

I was running on a beach, feeling the sand shift under my bare feet with each step, and the wind stole my voice as I screamed at the man ahead. His tan trenchcoat flapped wildly around his body as he turned from the ocean, and his blue eyes pierced my heart with their gaze. I wasn't gonna make it. I was too late.   
_____________

The first thing I was aware of was the surface underneath my body. I expected the cold, wet asphalt of the street, or maybe a thin hospital mattress, but what I got was warm and soft, and I felt everything shift as a car's engine revved. 

"She's conscious," a familiar voice said.

I groaned quietly and cracked open an eye while bringing a hand to the side of my head. It came away wet, and I sighed when I saw the blood on my fingertips. "That sucks," I murmured. I flinched hard as a hand lightly took my wrist and used a blue bandana to wipe the blood away. 

"You're safe now," that same voice rumbled, and I looked up to see the face of the trenchcoat-wearing man above me, his features creased with concern. Apparently I was using his lap as a pillow.

I sat up, probably too quickly as I swayed a bit when I was upright, and looked around. I was in the backseat of a classic car, and the FBI agents I'd met that morning were in the front seat. "Where are we?" I asked. "Is this the car that hit me?"

The man in the passenger seat was already turned around looking at me, and his eyes flitted to the driver before settling back on me. "We didn't introduce ourselves this morning. I'm agent Sam Young, and these are my partners, agents Dean Angus and Castiel Spears," he told me, pointing to the other men. "We were on our way to the hospital before you woke up." I was shaking my head as soon as the word "hospital" left his mouth, and he gave me a funny look. "What?"

"Well I'm Melanie Wilson, and I don't need a hospital. Other than a slight headache I'm feeling fine. Besides, I can't. I don't have any insurance, and all my stuff is still back at the diner. I have to go back and get it." I palmed my forehead and groaned again. "Oh my gosh, my boss is gonna kill me!"

"Why were you in the street with a gun?" Agent Angus asked.

I felt the blood drain from my face, and I bit my lower lip. "You won't believe me," I whispered. 

"Try us."

I swallowed hard and stared down at my hands, running a thumb over my right palm. "I was just cleaning up when some guy off the street waltzed right on in. He was nice at first, but when I tried to get him to leave, he attacked me, and, and I shot him point blank, but he didn't go down, so I ran." I looked up at them and shook my head. "What kind of monster can take a bullet to the chest and not even flinch?" The two agents in the front shared a look but otherwise stayed quiet. "Anyway, I was running from him in the alley, and that's when I saw your car. I figured it was my best chance at surviving."

"What did the man look like?" Agent Spears asked me gently. 

"He was just a guy. Um, about thirty, I guess, dark hair and eyes, black leather jacket and jeans. Nothing really stood out. He said his name was Todd Bailey, but I'm not sure I believe him." Agent Spears frowned as he handed me the bandana he'd used to clean my hand, and I muttered a thanks while pressing it to my head. 

We rode a little ways before I remembered something else. "His skin was like ice and really pale." I didn't know why, but I felt like that was an important detail, and sure enough the man beside me tensed and shared a silent look with the others. "What? Does that mean something to you?"

Agent Young turned back around and laid his arm over the back of his seat. "We're going to take you back to get your stuff and lock up, but we'd like to accompany you home and keep an eye on things overnight, just in case he comes back."

"Wait, you think this is related to those murders, don't you?" 

He nodded once, his expression grim. "It's possible he knows where you live, and we can't take the chance that he's not our guy."

I flopped back against the seat and winced as a pain shot through my side. 

"Are you alright?"

I looked over, and agent Spears was half-reaching for me, his hand suspended in the air between us. "I think I probably bruised some ribs, but I don't think they're broken," I told him while pressing my fingertips against each one on my left. "I'm gonna have some wicked art to show for it."

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head like he did when we first met. "I don't understand. What does art have to do with your injuries?"

"Bruising, Cas," agent Angus called from the front seat. "The different colored bruises look like a watercolor painting as they heal." Agent Young raised an eyebrow at his partner, and agent Angus shrugged. "What? I'm cultured!"

"Dean, your idea of culture is a biker bar."

"That's definitely culture, Sammy."

I grinned at them as the banter continued. It was obvious these men had known each other a long time, and although they argued a lot, I could sense the strong connection they shared. Every once in a while I could feel agent Spears watching me, and I probably should've been freaked out because he was still appearing in my dreams, but something had changed. Maybe it was waking up in his lap or the careful way he approached me, or maybe it was his tender touch or the protective air he had about him, but whatever it was, I found myself completely at ease in his presence. 

We eventually rolled up in front of the diner, and agent Angus cut the engine as the other two scoped it out. "Melanie," he said as his green eyes met my blue ones in the mirror, "take Cas with you into the diner. I'll watch the front, and Sam will check out the alleyway. You'll be fine. Just take your time, and whatever happens, stay close and do exactly what we tell you, no matter what. Understand?" I nodded, and he opened his door. "Alright, let's go."

I slid out behind agent Spears, or Castiel as he was apparently named, and didn't venture more than a foot away from him at any given time. Sam and Dean grabbed some items from the trunk of the car, and Castiel guided me with a hand on my lower back as we walked up to the front door. It didn't look like anyone was inside, but he still made me let him go first, and I watched as he cleared the dining room. Once Castiel was satisfied, he signaled the other two men, and they nodded before heading to the alley's entrance. I'd been too afraid to make a sound while Castiel moved, but once he cleared the kitchen, I released a long breath.

"I cannot believe this is happening," I mumbled as I gathered my purse and jacket. 

Castiel turned from the shelf of spices he was currently examining beside me. "Which part?" He seemed genuinely interested in my answer, and I waved a hand in the air aimlessly as I searched for the right words.

"All of it," I said. "I mean, I, Melanie Wilson, single owner of exactly one cat and a ton of books, got attacked by some kind of bulletproof weirdo, hit by a car, and am now being protected by the FBI. My life went from mind-numbingly boring to Die Hard level action."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a little half-smile while I spoke. "Yes, I suppose that would be strange." He huffed a laugh, and I couldn't help but stare at the way the corners of his eyes crinkled as he grinned. "One day you wake up knowing exactly what your life is, exactly how the plan is supposed to go, and all of a sudden things change, like someone ripped up the script. I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but I can relate to what you're going through."

We locked eyes for a long moment before Sam and Dean broke the silence. "Things are clear outside. You guys ready to go?" Dean asked.

I nodded and struggled to get my jacket on without hurting my side. I was trying to be discreet, but my face must have shown something because suddenly Castiel was behind me, holding my jacket up so I could easily slip my arms through. 

"Thanks," I told him, and he smiled back in return. 

"Let's get you home."


	4. Chapter 4

"This is home," I announced as the car rolled to a stop in front of my apartment building. "I'm on the ground level, apartment eight."

Dean shifted into park and turned to look at me. "We'll do it kinda like we did at the diner, okay? Stick close to Cas while Sam makes a perimeter sweep. I'll clear your apartment while you two hang out at the door. Hopefully things will go smoothly, and we can get settled for the night."

I chewed my lower lip and stared at my front door for a moment before digging in my jacket pocket for my keys. "Guess you want these, then, huh?" I dropped them into his open palm with a sigh and got out, popping my knuckles as I waited for the others to get ready. 

We stepped up to the sidewalk, and Sam gave Dean a short nod before disappearing around the side of the building while Dean unlocked the door and crept inside. Moments later I heard a curse and shuffling from inside the room, and Castiel swept an arm in front of my body, pushing me against the brick wall beside the door. "Dean?" he called.

"Yeah, I'm fine. She didn't mention she had a damned cat." The light flickered on, and Dean scowled, his eyes squinting harshly in the sudden brightness. 

Castiel visibly relaxed, the intense expression melting from his features as he realized his partner was okay. He dropped his arm from my chest and stepped back to let me by. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," I told him. "Really, I get it. You were just trying to keep me safe." I put a hand on his upper arm and motioned inside. "Come on. I'll get you guys a drink."

"I don't drink."

I closed my eyes as I realized how what I said must have sounded. "Sorry, I meant like water or coffee or something. I know you're still on duty, so hard stuff is out of the question."

I led the way inside, and Castiel shut the door behind us. Chief was already curling himself around my legs and meowing loudly, and after I hung my purse up, I went straight for the kitchen cupboard for his food. I normally fed him dry food, but hey, I was feeling generous after the day I'd had, so I cracked open a can of his favorite wet cat food and put it in the floor in front of him.

"Enjoy the liver," I muttered as the smell hit my face. "I don't see how he can eat that stuff," I told the men before looking up. Dean was leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed, and Castiel stood awkwardly in the doorway like he wasn't sure what to do with himself. "You guys can have a seat anywhere. I know it's kinda small in here, but just make yourselves comfortable."

There was a knock at the door, and Dean held up a hand when I moved to answer it. "I've got it," he said and walked over to the small entryway. He peaked through the peephole and relaxed a bit before opening the door.

"So the area's clear," Sam announced while he walked in. He pushed his wet hair back away from his face as he moved, and his eyes darted over to where I stood. "No sign of our, uh, suspect."

I narrowed my eyes and studied him closely. There was something off about what he was saying, almost like he was hiding something, but Sam glanced back at Dean before I could really get a feel for what it was, and the other man didn't act like anything was off. Still, as I looked around the room at the three men, I got the distinct impression that there was something they weren't telling me.

"I was just about to make coffee," I remarked while pulling my jacket off and hanging it on the back of a chair. "Want some?" 

"Uh, sure," Sam replied. "Thanks, Melanie." He and Dean walked over, and I suddenly realized just how tiny my apartment was. Between myself and the three men standing in my kitchen, I was beginning to feel a bit cramped.

I turned around and pulled my coffee maker away from the wall. "You can hang your jackets on the chairs if you want, and I'll put them in the bathroom with my space heater after I get this done," I told them over my shoulder. 

I heard the rustling of clothing while I prepped the coffee maker and turned it on before moving over to the cupboard beside the sink. I reached up to open the door and hissed quietly as the motion pulled on my side.

"Melanie?" Castiel asked from behind me.

"Damned mugs," I muttered. I hadn't heard him move, but when I turned around I came face to face with Castiel, and the close proximity made my head spin. "I could, uh, use a little help," I admitted, motioning to the shelf behind me.

"Allow me," he said quietly and reached up to grab four cups from above my head. I watched him work, completely and totally focused on such a small task, and wondered why he kept showing up in my dreams. I caught a whiff of the rain and something else, something almost salty, on his jacket when he moved, and I couldn't help but inhale the fresh scent that washed over me. It reminded me of sunshine and warmth and sand and...

His blue eyes flickered down to meet mine, and he smiled that same tender half smile when he caught me staring at him. I blushed and averted my eyes, moving around him to grab the pile of coats. "I'll be right back," I said quickly and practically ran into the bathroom.

I tossed the jackets on the counter, frowning as I realized Castiel had opted to keep his trenchcoat on, and grabbed my space heater from beneath the sink before plugging it into the wall. I had started putting the jackets on hangers and hanging them wherever I could reach that would still allow them to dry out some when I heard voices in the next room.

"...shot him in the chest, and he didn't even flinch. I doubt she's going to forget that," Sam was saying. 

"Look, we'll tell her he was probably wearing Kevlar or something, okay? There's no reason for Melanie to know what really came after her. I say we gank the bloodsucker and move on." 

Okay, consider my curiosity officially piqued at that point. I moved silently to the door and held my breath while peering through the crack. Sam and Dean were standing on opposite sides of my table as they argued, and although I couldn't see Castiel from my position, I imagined he was still over by the sink where I left him.

"She's going to wonder why we're carrying around machetes instead of guns, Dean. Besides, wouldn't it be better if she was prepared? I mean, he's got her scent now, so you know he'll be back eventually."

Sam looked at Dean with pleading eyes, and Dean leaned forward, gripping the back of the chair in front of him with a sigh. "I don't know, man. She seems nice and all, but do you really think she's ready for the talk?"

"I think Melanie is stronger than we give her credit for," Castiel's low voice supplied, and I grinned before stepping out of my hiding place.

"How about you let me decide what I am and am not ready for, huh?" Sam and Dean's heads whipped towards me, their eyes wide with shock at getting caught, but I noticed Castiel remained totally calm as his intense stare settled on me. 

"H-hey, Mel," Sam greeted me. "Um, how much did you hear?"

"Enough to reinforce the feeling that you've all been lying to me," I told him while pouring us each a cup of coffee. I placed a cup in front of him and Dean and another on the counter beside Castiel before settling into my usual chair and taking a sip from my favorite mug. Chief jumped into my lap, and I stroked his fur as I eyed the men in front of me. "Now sit. Spill."

Sam and Dean slowly obliged the request, but Castiel stayed where he was, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth as I narrowed my eyes at him. Dean cleared his throat before speaking. "What do you want to know?"

"All of it," I said, turning my gaze to him. "The good, the bad, the gross, give it to me straight. Start with who you really are."

He licked his lips and looked at Sam who shrugged in a "told you so" type of way. Dean just rolled his eyes in return. "We aren't really from the FBI--"

"No shit," I huffed, earning myself a glare.

"--but we are here to help," he continued sternly. "Sam and I are brothers. We've been doing this our whole lives, and Cas...well he's a close friend, practically family."

"Got a last name?"

"Winchester."

I leaned forward and propped my head on my fist as I studied him. "And what is it you do exactly, Mr. Winchester?"

"We hunt monsters."

"Monsters," I repeated dryly and scoured his face for any sign that he was lying. Finding none, I looked at the other two. Sam was the picture of calm, his features open and honest, but Castiel was staring at me warily, almost like he was afraid I'd take off running in the other direction. I sat back in my chair and traced the handle of my mug with a finger. "What kind of monster is after me right now?" I asked quietly. 

"A vampire," Sam stated. "We think he's the same one responsible for the other deaths in town, and we tracked him to the same block your diner is on. When we realized the direction he was heading, well, we knew you were working late, and Cas insisted we swing by to check on you."

I looked at Castiel for confirmation, but he was staring at his untouched mug on the counter beside him. He outright refused to look at me, but his jaw clenched, and my eyes went wide as a realization struck me. "So it wasn't an accident you were driving by when you did..."

Sam nodded. "If we hadn't shown up when we did, he probably would have caught you, and we'd still be looking for his hideout."

I swallowed and tore my eyes from the dark haired man in front of me. "How do we kill him?"

"Decapitation," Dean said before taking a drink of his coffee. "It's the only way to make 'em stay dead."

"Okay then."

"Okay?" Dean asked, his tone disbelieving. 

I shrugged. "Yeah. It's not the craziest thing I've ever heard, and obviously Todd isn't human, so now that we're all on the same page, what can I do to help?"

"No," Castiel boomed, his head snapping up to look at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Melanie, you can't get involved in this fight."

"You were the very one saying I'm stronger than you thought! What happened to that?"

"Being aware of the supernatural and fighting the supernatural are two very different things. You could get killed."

I jumped up, gritting my teeth against the pain in my ribs, and stalked towards him before jabbing a finger at his chest. "I can handle myself, pal."

"Throwing yourself in front of a car does not exactly count as 'handling yourself,'" Castiel retorted. 

I turned to look at the other two. "Did he seriously just use air quotes? Do people still do that?" Dean raised his brows and opened his mouth to say something, but I spun back around to face Castiel before he could get a word out. "I was ignorant of what I was up against, otherwise I could've fought back. Besides, it worked, didn't it?" I gripped the lapels of his jacket and tugged gently. "You've gotta help me, Castiel. I don't want to be caught helpless like that again."

Castiel's mouth snapped shut, and his eyes almost glowed with restrained fury. "You stay beside me at all times," he growled, and I grinned knowing I'd won. "Don't make me regret this."

"You won't."


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel stared down at me, his expression fierce, and I couldn't help the grin that stayed stretched across my lips. 

"I'm serious, Melanie. If one thing goes wrong..." He shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line, seemingly unable to voice the thoughts that plagued him. A bit of hair fell onto his forehead, and I itched to brush it away, but instead looked down at his chest and smoothed the front of his jacket. 

"I swear if things go sideways, I will barricade myself in my room while you guys handle the monster, okay?" I looked back up at him, and our eyes met briefly as Castiel swallowed before looking over my head at Sam and Dean. 

"Dean..." Castiel's voice was strangled, and he sucked in a breath when I turned to face the others. 

Dean stared hard at the man behind me, the muscle in his jaw ticking rapidly as he came to a decision. "Sam, go grab our bag out of the trunk. It's time for a crash course in vamps." Sam silently got up and walked to the door, casting one last glance over his shoulder before heading into the night. Once Sam was gone, Dean nodded to the chair beside him, and I took a seat. "Why are you so gung ho about killing monsters?"

"I want to know how to protect myself, and I learn best hands-on." He was skeptical, I could see it in the way his eyes narrowed and the set of his mouth, so I shrugged and bit my lip as I reached over for my coffee. I took a sip, letting the warm liquid sit on my tongue a moment before swallowing. "I just don't want to be a victim," I admitted. 

That seemed to settle him down some, but Dean tensed when the door opened, his hand flying to something at his belt as he stood. Sam walked in, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, and Dean's whole body relaxed as he ambled over and took the bag from his brother. Yeah, they were definitely closer than most siblings. 

"So," Sam announced as Dean dropped the bag on the table and started rifling through it, "you kill a vampire by decapitation, but you can also slow them down with something else."

"Shoot out their kneecaps?" I guessed, and the brothers shared a shocked look before going back to their tasks.

"Uh, well," Sam started. "I guess technically that would work."

Castiel snickered behind me, and I grinned at him over my shoulder. His eyes sparkled with mischief, and he coughed behind his hand when he realized we'd heard him.

"Anyway," Sam continued, and I faced him again. Dean handed him a syringe filled with a dark liquid, and my brows furrowed as I tried to figure out what was inside. Sam held it up. "Dead man's blood. Get it into a vamp's bloodstream, and it's basically poison to them, but you've gotta be careful because it eventually wears off." 

He handed it to me, and I held the syringe up, watching the way the light filtered through the scarlet liquid within. "So I just, what, inject them with it?" I asked as I wrapped my fingers around it and put my thumb on the plunger.

"That or dip a knife in the blood and cut or stab them," Dean added.

I nodded and passed the syringe back to Dean who placed it in a sleeve with about a half-dozen others. He rolled it up and tucked it back into the bag before pulling out a short-bladed machete and handing it to me, handle first. A tingle ran up my spine when I gripped the handle, and excitement bubbled in my stomach. 

"This is so friggin cool," I murmured as I stood and took a couple of slow practice swings. Dean glared at the statement, obviously he didn't think I was taking this seriously, and I grinned. "I have this thing for blades," I explained and gave the machete a twirl. "I've been training with one since I was eight, and I've been throwing them since I was twelve."

"Training how?" Sam asked.

"My dad was an old Marine, and after my mom got killed, he insisted my siblings and I pick up self-defense. My brother and sister only did what they had to, but I really enjoyed it, so I kept it up while they grew to resent his training. He died of a heart attack last year, and they stopped picking up my calls after that..." I trailed off and carefully placed the machete on the table. "I'm gonna go check on our jackets," I told them before heading into the bathroom.

I'd learned how to think fondly on memories of my dad, but actually talking about him was still pretty tough. Combine that with the festering wound of my family turning their backs on me, and I was more than a little upset, but I'd asked the guys for honesty, and it was only fair that I return the favor. 

I fingered the still damp cuff on Sam's jacket sleeve and sighed. I couldn't afford to break down now. I had to prove myself capable of handling this fight if I wanted them to continue teaching me, so I closed my eyes and decided to give myself twenty seconds to calm down and get a grip.

I had just counted past seventeen when someone knocked quietly on the door, breaking my meditation. My eyes snapped open at the sound, and I frowned at my reflection before tugging on the door handle. My breath hitched as it revealed Castiel standing on the other side, his knuckles poised to rap on the wood once more.

"Sorry," he said while glancing down at his shoes. "You seemed upset before, and I wanted to check on you." His head was still slightly lowered, but Castiel raised his blue eyes to meet mine. "Are you alright, Melanie?"

I blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the strange vibe coming off him. It felt like he was looking into my soul, picking it apart piece by piece as he stared at me. "Yeah, yeah," I started before releasing a heavy breath. I couldn't bring myself to lie to him for some reason, so I shook my head and pulled the door open wider, the action one of welcome and vulnerability. "No, Castiel. I'm not."

His brows pulled together as he stepped into the room. I shut the door behind him and turned to see he was leaning against the vanity, his hands resting lightly on the countertop bedside his hips, and I hugged my middle as I settled on the closed toilet lid. 

"It's still kinda hard to talk about my dad," I explained while studying the tile between my shoes. 

"You were close," Castiel observed.

"My dad and I were like this," I said while holding my crossed fingers up. "My mom died when I was four, so he taught me everything about everything. I was basically plastered to his side from the moment she died because I was terrified of losing him, too."

"That's understandable." Castiel hummed before continuing. "Human emotions are...complicated at best. Many adults still deal with the after effects of things that happened to them when they were children." He cocked his head and stared at me. "Is that why you live a solitary life?"

I gaped at his bluntness. "I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered. So much for total honesty. 

Castiel hesitated a moment before pushing away from the vanity and crouching in front of me. "Your family is gone, and other than your cat and coworkers, I get the feeling that you haven't formed any meaningful relationships. You don't have photos on the walls, and you're incredibly independent." The corner of his mouth curved upwards as his eyes softened. "You're afraid of getting hurt."

I opened my mouth to deny it, to give a list of reasons why he was wrong, to prove that I could form "meaningful relationships" or whatever, but I couldn't find the words. "I don't do this," I whispered. His brows furrowed in confusion, and I motioned to the space between us. "I don't have heart to hearts with people."

His face returned to the understanding smile it held earlier. "Sometimes you need to."

His face was so open, so caring and kind. He'd been nothing but good to me from the jump, and I made up my mind.

"Castiel," I started, my voice shaking. His face creased with concern as he stared at me. "There's something I have to tell you--"

A crash in the kitchen interrupted me, and Castiel was instantly on his feet, a silver blade in his hand. He glanced down at where I sat and held the blade out to me, handle first. "This will kill whatever comes through that door," he growled and my eyes widened as I got the message. He was leaving me.

"Cas--"

He placed a heavy hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. "I'll be right back." 

Then he was gone.

"Shit," I hissed as the last glimpse of his coat disappeared and the door clicked shut behind him. I heard his booming voice yelling at someone, but I couldn't make out the words over the sounds of a fight on the other side of the wall. I was frozen for a second as chaos descended on my little abode, but then everything went silent, and I was striding for the door even though I was mentally berating myself for being such an idiot. 

I slowly turned the knob and lifted the door slightly, careful to not make a sound as I opened it, and peeked out. Sam was the closest to me and the first one I saw. He was on his back, head bleeding and face slack as a stranger knelt over him. The man gripped Sam's long hair and exposed his neck before leaning in, and I. Just. Snapped.

I rushed forward, the blade Castiel had given me raised high above my head, and the freak looked up just in time for me to slam the point down through the back of his neck. He hit the floor beside Sam with the force of my thrust, and it wasn't until he stopped flinching that I stepped on his shoulders with one foot and yanked my weapon back out.

A woman across the room screamed from where she had been pinning Dean against the wall, and she pushed away from him, her eyes locked on my form as she stalked towards me, but a machete passed through her neck from behind, and Dean nodded at me as she fell to the floor. We both turned towards the last scuffle in the room, and my eyes went wide as I saw Todd on top of Castiel.

"Take care of Sam!" Dean shouted at me as he walked towards the fight. 

I hurried to pull the first vampire off of Sam before grabbing a towel to press against his head. While I did that, I quickly scanned his body for other injuries and found a large gash just below his right ribs. It was still bleeding profusely, so I made the decision to forget the head wound for now as it didn't appear very deep and applied pressure to the site. 

I glanced up just in time to see Dean get shoved away by Todd before Castiel grimaced and smacked a palm to the monster's forehead. Bright white light burst from Todd's face, and I shielded Sam's body with my own as the wave from the explosion blew past us. I didn't really understand how it happened or why, but I knew that Castiel had been the one to cause it, and as I hid my face in the crook of my elbow, I wondered just what else he was capable of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so admittedly, I don't know for sure if an angel blade can actually kill a vampire just by stabbing. I'm still waiting for feedback on that question, but this is fanfic, and stranger things have happened. Plus, I really wanted to get this chapter up, so I hope you enjoyed it, and if you do happen to know the answer to that question, let me know! I'd love to hear from you.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a few days, but I got sucked into a really good fic and couldn't concentrate on my own story.
> 
> Anyway, here it is, so enjoy!

I lifted my head as the light faded from behind my closed lids. Dean was already rushing over to his brother's side, and Castiel was busy shoving the husk of Todd Bailey off himself. Our eyes met briefly as he stood, and I swear he looked almost ashamed of himself. Good, I thought. I wanted to say something, to demand an explanation for what just happened, but Dean broke through my shock by pushing my hands away from Sam's side and taking a look at the wound. 

"What?" I asked as I looked up into his olive eyes, vaguely aware that he was barking orders at me. 

"Dammit! I said go get the first aid kit in my bag! Now!" I shook my head and ran into my bathroom for my own first aid kit. "The hell are you doing, kid?" Dean yelled.

"I can guarantee my kit is better stocked than yours, Dean," I spit out. "Now move out of my way."

He clenched his jaw but shifted so that he was at Sam's head while I pulled a big bottle of normal saline, gauze, and a couple of pre-threaded stitching needles from the small duffel. I wiped as much blood as I could from the area before dousing the gash in saline to clean it out. "Any idea what cut him?" I asked while poking around the area looking for debris. 

"I'm not sure," Dean admitted. "We were all a little busy." He watched me work for a minute before speaking again. "I thought you were a waitress?"

I tied off the beginning of the stitches and wiped more blood away. "I was halfway through med school when Dad died. I dropped out soon after and just stuck to waitressing. My lease is up in a month, and I've been planning to travel until I find my next home. I'm guessing the sharp edge of a knife."

"What?"

I nodded towards the area I was currently putting back together. "Whatever cut him. If it was dull or jagged, the wound would be more irregular, indicating a tear, but the edges are pretty clean, so it's more like something sliced into him." Dean didn't say anything, just continued to watch every move I made while absently running a hand over his brother's hair. 

Glass crunched behind me, and Dean looked up as Castiel fell with a sigh into the only kitchen chair still upright. "You okay, man?" Dean asked.

"I'm afraid killing that vampire drained a fair portion of my grace," Castiel mumbled wearily. "It will take even more time for me to fully recover."

"Care to share with the class, Castiel? Or are we going to pretend like I didn't just see you turn that thing to charcoal?" I asked as I tied off the last stitch. It took seventeen to close Sam up. That was gonna be a bitch to get over. Poor guy. 

My comment was met by a weighted silence, and I taped a couple of nonstick bandages over the wound before looking up. Castiel was rubbing his forehead, his eyes closed to the world, and his body sagged with exhaustion. "I'd hoped to avoid this," he muttered. 

I raised a brow at him. "Forever?"

His blue eyes flashed as they met mine. "For now," he gritted out. "I wasn't sure how you'd react, and I--" Castiel huffed a sigh before dropping his hand to join the other in his lap. He looked away from me, staring into space. "I wanted you to warm up to the idea first."

I shuffled my knees so that I could examine Sam's head again without having to lean over him and doused some gauze in saline to clean the drying blood away. "Can you grab him a clean shirt?" I asked Dean. "He's gonna want something pretty loose."

Dean met my gaze quickly before looking back at his brother's face. "I don't, uh, I don't wanna--"

"He'll be fine for a couple of minutes." I gave him a small smile and patted his hand. "Go. I've got this."

"Thirty seconds," he said sternly before patting his brother's thigh and standing. He picked up the blade I had used earlier and gripped it tightly while walking to the door. Casting us one last look, he headed outside. 

"I'm pretty open-minded, Castiel," I told the guy quietly while checking Sam's pupils for a response. They reacted well, constricting tightly when exposed to light, so no concussion. Hopefully he'd stir soon. "It can't be that bad."

"I'm not human."

The statement caught me a bit off guard. I knew something was off about Castiel, but I honestly didn't expect him to answer me right away, so it was his deep voice breaking the silence that shook me more than anything. I kept my voice steady and my eyes on Sam as I replied. "So? What are you then?"

Silence. Sam's carotid pulsed six times beneath my fingertips before he spoke.

"An angel," he admitted so low I wasn't sure if I'd heard him correctly. 

"Like, singing on clouds and mopping the streets of gold, angel?"

He snorted, and I grinned at him over my shoulder. "God created me, yes, and for a long time I served Heaven, but I was a warrior. I did not mop floors."

"What's so bad about that?" I questioned.

Castiel rested his face in his palm as we stared at each other, and he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Dean bursting through the front door. "How is he?" Dean asked while kneeling beside me. His hands were already ghosting along the edges of Sam's bandage, eyes roaming worriedly over his body. 

As if on cue, Sam groaned quietly, and his hands hovered above his abdomen as a breath punched out of him from the pain. I watched closely while Dean caught the hand that seemed intent on flying to his stitches, and Sam immediately gripped the front of Dean's shirt, his eyes snapping open before focusing on the man in front of him. "Dean?"

"Hey, Sammy," Dean breathed while checking him over. He put a gentle hand to his brother's chest when Sam shifted. "Don't try to sit up. How you feeling, huh? Do you remember what happened?"

Sam blinked a couple of times and swallowed before nodding. "Yeah, uh, vamps ambushed us, and one sliced up my side with my own machete," he explained, wincing with the memory. "I remember getting slammed onto the floor, but that's it. It was lights out after that."

"Yeah, well you almost got eaten. Mel here saved your life."

Sam glanced over at me as I turned to gather up all the trash I'd scattered around myself while working. "Thanks," he said, and I offered him a small smile while shrugging. 

"Just repaying the favor," I said. His lips quirked up before his eyes drifted closed again. "You can use the bathroom to clean up in if you want. There's clean towels on the shelf and soap in the shower, but I don't recommend you get those stitches wet anytime soon. Maybe just wash off some?"

Sam grunted, and Dean slapped his leg. "C'mon, get up. You're ruining her floor." Sam cracked an eye open and scowled at his brother but pushed himself up anyway. Dean helped the guy to his feet and passed him the clean shirt he'd grabbed earlier befor Sam retreated into the bathroom. Dean then turned around and put his hands on his hips as he surveyed the destruction. "Got a broom?" he asked.

"Between the fridge and the wall," I said as I scooped up my things and set them on the table. Dean got to work, cursing quietly when my cat came out of hiding, but otherwise stayed silent.

I grabbed some papertowels and wiped up what I could of Sam's blood from my floor, but I couldn't do a whole lot until we got rid of these bodies, so I was kinda stuck as far as the floor went. When I was wiping down the table, I noticed Castiel had dropped his forehead into his palm. His eyes were closed, his lips parted slightly, and he looked like he was mostly asleep, except for the frown lines between his eyes. He released a shaky breath, and I straightened before turning away, heat flooding my face. Sam called for Dean from the bathroom right after that, and I tried not to focus on the fact that I was alone with the angel again. 

I was scrubbing my hands at the sink, watching the water run down my fingers in little pink rivulets when I felt a presence behind me. "Melanie," Castiel said softly, and I closed my eyes to try and calm the sudden uptick of my heartbeat at hearing him say my name. 

"Hmm?"

"You should try to get some rest. We'll finish up in here and dispose of the bodies. No one will be able to connect any of this with you."

I turned and looked up at him. Castiel was once again ignoring any semblance of personal space, his trenchcoat brushing against my arms as I wrapped them around my middle. "Are you leaving?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn't want him to leave, not yet, not when there was still another mystery to solve, not when I felt myself being drawn to him by some kind of magnetic force. 

"That...that depends on Sam and Dean," he said slowly. "I usually go where they go."

"Usually," I repeated, and he nodded. "What if you had a reason to stay? What if I told you there was another case here?"

His brows pulled together as his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

My eyes dropped to the dark blue tie that hung loosely from his neck while I tried to find the words. "Castiel, I--" I swallowed, and the floodgates opened. "I've been having these nightmares, and I didn't know what they meant because I didn't know the person I was dreaming about, but I kept having them, and they kept getting more intense. Then I saw you in the diner, and that's why I got so freaked out when we met, but then the whole Todd thing happened, and you saved me, and I tried to tell you, but you're an angel, and I--"

I was silenced by his warm hand covering my mouth, and I stared up at him wide eyed, my chest heaving as I fought to catch my breath. "Melanie, calm down. Can you do that?" I nodded quickly, and he dropped his hand. "What can you tell me about your dreams?"

"It's you," I breathed, and I watched his blue eyes widen in shock. "I've seen you die every night for weeks."

"What--"

He was cut off by Dean jerking us apart, and I suddenly found myself pinned against the wall, Dean's forearm cutting off my oxygen supply. I heard Castiel yelling something, but I couldn't focus on anything other than the pure fury staring me in the face. "I knew there was something off about you," Dean growled. He slammed me into the wall again, and I cried out as he pressed against my ribs. "Start talking!"

"I said, that's enough!"

Castiel shoved Dean away and took up a protective stance in front of me as I slid to the floor. Sam had rushed back in at some point and was trying to calm his brother down, but Dean was still glaring at me over his shoulder. I sucked in a breath and put a tentative hand on the angel's inner ankle, but drew back like I'd been burned when the simple touch caused Dean to come at me again. Castiel slapped a hand against his chest, holding him back. 

"Dean, let's talk to her first."

"She just said she saw you die, man!"

Castiel's shoulders relaxed, and he dropped his hand from Dean's chest. Oh yeah, I was definitely about to die. "But I'm still here."

Dean's face softened just a bit. Maybe I'd live to see another day after all. "You," he said pointing at me. "Table. Now." I pressed a hand into my side to ease the pain but didn't move. Dean rolled his eyes at me and backed up until he was beside Sam again. "There, you happy?"

Castiel turned and gripped my upper arm, silently checking that I was okay with a look, and hauled me to my feet. I took a seat at the table and stared up at the men in front of me. They were dangerous, each one of them, and I had to be careful. If I said the wrong thing, they'd kill me for sure.

"I pick up on things," I said quietly. "Little...vibrations I guess. I always thought I was just super perceptive, but I'm never wrong, and occasionally I also have dreams that come true. They've always been about little things, though."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked while he finished buttoning up his flannel. He was fresh faced, his damp hair curling around his ears, but the circles remained under his eyes from the blood loss. 

"Usually my dreams consist of conversations with a coworker, or a certain way the light falls on a book I've never read, but then I dreamed about him." I looked at Castiel, who had taken the seat between myself and Dean, and tried to make him understand. "I just thought it was a recurring nightmare of some sort, and then when I realized you were real, I freaked out."

Castiel hesitated before placing a hand on my forearm. "Tell us about the dreams," he prodded.

I closed my eyes and was transported back to my vision. "I'm on a beach. The wind is up, the clouds are really dark, and lightning strikes a couple of times on the ocean ahead of me. I'm running towards Castiel, and the sand is dragging me down, but he's facing the water, his hands deep in his coat pockets." I paused, and a gentle squeeze gave me the confidence to continue. 

"I call out to you, scream your name, but I can't hear anything over the wind. You turn around and give me this, this look, like you want to be saved, but you know it's impossible, and I'm trying to get to you, but then you cry out and crumble to your knees, and a blonde man is standing behind you, and his face is twisted into a sneer. There's so much blood..."

"Who is it, Melanie?" Castiel asked quietly. 

"I don't know. I've never seen him before. He disappears before I make it over there. God, Castiel, it's everywhere. You're coughing and choking, and I just can't stop it, and then you're gone." My voice broke on the last word, and I curled in on myself as the sobs wracked my body. 

Strong arms pulled me into a warm chest, and I went willingly, the stress of the day finally catching up to me. I'd been running on empty for hours, and I couldn't give any more. I was done. I was just so done.


	7. Chapter 7

My dream was the same thing that night as I slept except for one small detail. Just as Castiel was about to slip away, he reached up and cupped my cheek for a small moment before his hand fell away.  
_____________

I woke up gasping his name, my hand automatically flying to my cheek. It came away wet, and I was somewhat shocked to find my fingertips glistening with tears. instead of the blood I assumed would still be there. I stared at my hands in the dim light as I wondered yet again how I managed to fail. I was never fast enough to reach him, never loud enough to warn him, never smart enough to stop it. I was never enough to change it.

"It won't be your fault," Castiel whispered. He was perched on the foot of the bed, his hand rubbing my quilt covered leg. 

"It's always my fault," I told him.

He shook his head, and the moonlight slanted across his left eye and cheekbone down to his nose. "You misunderstand me. If this comes to pass, if I die, you will not be to blame."

"How can you say that?" I threw back the blankets and scooted down beside him, folding one leg beneath me. "I've been watching it happen for weeks, Castiel. Weeks! If anyone can stop you from dying, it should be me!"

He glanced down at where our thighs were touching and spoke slowly, seemingly choosing his next words with care. "I have lived a remarkably long life, Melanie, and I have seen well thought out plans get torn to shreds by the most insignificant players on the board." Castiel paused, his eyes softening as he met my gaze. "I met Fate once, but I don't believe she has the final say on everything. We make our own choices, and we then deal with the consequences of those choices. Now that I know what you've seen, if I'm standing on that beach with you one day, it's because I want to be there, because regardless of what might happen, it's worth the risk."

"What could possibly be worth dying like that for?"

The corner of his mouth turned up in what had quickly become my favorite expression on him. "Love."

"Love?" I snorted, and his grin grew. "Love is for fairytales, Castiel, not the real world."

"I disagree. Love comes in many forms." He nodded towards my closed bedroom door. "Surely you've noticed the bond Sam and Dean share?"

"Couldn't miss it," I admitted. "They're much closer than most siblings are under the best of circumstances. Those two...they've been through a lot together, haven't they?"

"More than anyone should have to see, but they'd tell you it comes with the job. The truth is, they were cursed from the beginning of time, and the life they live has forced them into saving the world countless times, sometimes at the expense of their lives." My brows pulled together, and Castiel huffed a little laugh. "You're not really a Winchester unless you've died at least once. They'd do anything for each other, and I'd lay down my life for them in a heartbeat. Dean once told me I'd earned the position of being their brother, so I like to think they return the sentiment. That's love."

I stared at him in awe for a long moment, truly speechless over the remarkable being beside me. "I didn't realize angels had the capacity to feel as much as you do," I said finally. 

He squinted as he stared past me through the window. "I think we're all capable, but sometimes I wonder if God made a mistake when he created me. It seems as though I'm the only one who has sided with humanity."

"You're not a mistake, Castiel. God just gave you a bigger heart because he knew you could handle it." My own heart was pounding as I said it, but I wasn't about to take it back. After all I'd seen from him, I knew he was purer than most. He was gentle and compassionate and kind, and he knew when to stand up for what was right. 

And damn if he wasn't fine as hell.

His eyes shot to mine, and for a moment I wondered if I'd said that last bit out loud, but then Castiel licked his lips quickly before pressing them into a line, and I forgot my name.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

I felt the blush creep up my neck and I was stumbling out of bed before it could reach my cheeks and give me away. 

"Melanie?"

"I'm, uh, I'm sorry. I just--ah!"

"Melanie!"

My feet had gotten tangled in the loose sheets, and I hit the floor with a loud thud. I gasped once as the pain hit before rolling onto my uninjured side and slapping the floor to keep from screaming. Castiel was immediately on the floor beside me, and Dean was bursting through the door right after.

"The hell is going on in here?" 

"She--"

"I'm fine," I gritted out, my face burning with humiliation. "I'm just a klutz."

Dean hesitated in the doorway before mumbling something under his breath and catching me under my arm. "Cas, get her other side."

"I said I'm--"

"Just shut up and let me help you, dammit." My jaw snapped shut, and I reluctantly let them pull me to my feet. Dean practically shoved me into the angel's arms and shuffled out of the room, closing the door behind him on the way out.

My hands were splayed across Castiel's chest, and his arms were wrapped loosely around my waist. I'm pretty sure my blush was about as subtle as a neon sign, and I tried to focus on anything other than our close proximity, but that was becoming more and more difficult as I stared at the column of his throat. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed before tilting his head to look down at me.

"Hi," I squeaked once I forced myself to meet his stare.

"Hello."

I'll admit it. I was terrified. I had a very attractive six foot tall angel of the freaking Lord holding me upright and looking at me with something between concern and amusement, and all I could think about was what his lips would feel like on mine. Castiel raised a brow and tightened his hold on me, his long fingers splayed wide against my back.

"Can you read minds or something?" I asked and was rewarded by a small smile.

"I can," he admitted, "but it requires me to actually enter a person's subconscious. Prayers or longing, on the other hand, I can hear easily as long as they are directed towards me." His smile stretched into a full on grin.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Your prayers are quite loud." My mouth dropped open in protest, but before I could speak, Castiel dipped down and brushed his lips lightly across my cheek. "I wasn't laughing at you," he whispered into my ear, and I swear I felt the vibrations of his voice in my toes. He pulled back and looked me in the eye. "I was laughing because I was wondering the same thing."

Holy shit.

I tilted my head back and stretched up on my tiptoes, his comment making me braver than I would normally be, and tentatively kissed him. Well, I tried, anyway. When our lips met, it was like a fire had been ignited between us, and suddenly our mouths were moving furiously against each other. I cupped his jaw and gasped as Castiel pressed his whole body against mine while his tongue swept into my mouth. He was warm and tasted like coffee, and it wasn't until my hips bumped into the dresser that I remembered there were others in my apartment and realized we had to stop.

I pulled away and stared up into his equally shocked face. His pupils were blown wide, the deep ocean blue barely showing, and he started to lean in again but stopped when I put a firm hand to his chest. His shock turned to confusion, and I shook my head.

"I'm not trying to lead you on, and that was seriously hot, but I'm not the type of girl who, you know, hooks up with a guy she just met, and we're not exactly alone either..." I bit my lip and looked away. "I'm sorry, Castiel."

He placed another kiss on my cheek before tucking my head under his chin. "I don't want you to do anything you aren't comfortable with, but I must admit, that was much more arousing than my previous experiences." 

"Do you have a lot of experience with this type of thing?" I smiled. 

"Not much, but something was definitely different about our connection. Perhaps it has to do with your psychic abilities making contact with my grace..." He hummed and trailed off as his knuckles brushed up and down my spine.

His touch was soothing and slowly lulling me back to a point of relaxation that had me sagging against his body. "How did I get in here?" I asked after a while. 

"You cried yourself to sleep in my arms at the kitchen table, so I carried you in here and put you to bed. I stayed to watch over you."

"Thank you," I said around a yawn.

Castiel stepped back and took my hands. "You should get back to sleep."

"Will you stay?"

"If you want."

I grinned at him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, groaning when I pulled back. "We've gotta figure out why that's so intense," I told him before walking over and pulling a shirt and sweats from my closet. When I turned around, Castiel was standing in front of the window, staring out into the night, so I changed quickly and slipped into bed.

"Get some rest, Melanie." He smiled over his shoulder and added, "I'll watch over you."

I smiled back and snuggled deeper into my bed. "Goodnight, Castiel."


	8. Chapter 8

I was running on the beach again. I'm always running it seems, my feet slipping in the dry sand beneath me, but when I called out to the angel ahead of me, he turned around with a smile. 

That's new.

The wind died down to a light breeze, and I slowed to a walk. "Castiel?" I asked when I got a few feet away from him.

"I hope you don't mind that I entered your dreams," he told me. "I thought you could use a break from the nightmares." 

I tilted my head in curiosity at the statement but took his outstretched hand as I topped the small dune. "You hijacked my brain?"

"I prefer the term 'test drive,' and I'm only here to allow you to sleep peacefully. You need it." Castiel sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him before looking back up at me. "Join me?"

"Okay," I said slowly while settling in beside him. "I'll play along. What are we doing here?"

He nodded towards the water. "I'm watching the horizon from a beach just outside of Charleston, South Carolina because I find it calming, but you appear to be staring skeptically at me because you still aren't sure whether or not I'm about to die in front of you." Castiel smiled at me. "I can assure you that won't be happening, not this time."

I hooked my arm through his and laid my head on his shoulder. "Thanks, Castiel," I murmured.

We watched the rolling waves break on the shore for a few minutes before he spoke again. "Why Charleston?"

"Hmm?"

He waved his hand over the scene in front of us. "Why do you dream of this beach over all the others?"

"It's the only one I've ever been to," I explained. "My dad took us when I was twelve, and I fell in love with the area. I've always wanted to come back, but now that it's been in my visions, I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to return." I sighed and closed my eyes, inhaling the salty air. It was exactly how I remembered, and my very soul longed to reconnect with the place.

"Your vision isn't set in stone, Melanie."

"Maybe not, but I'm not going to put myself in the very place I've seen you die. That's just tempting fate."

Castiel threaded our fingers together and rested his head on mine. "Rest now. We can deal with everything else tomorrow."  
_____________

I woke to the smell of coffee brewing and snuggled closer to the warmth that surrounded me, burrowing my nose in the fabric as I chased the salty air from my dream. I inhaled deeply and released the breath with a sigh before cracking my eyes open. 

Oh.

No wonder I was so comfortable. I was practically laying on top of Castiel in my bed, my left leg thrown across his and my arm wrapped around his waist while my head rested on his chest. He was reclined against the pillows with his arms securely around my frame, and he peered down at me when my body stiffened. 

"Good morning, Melanie."

"Uh, morning, Castiel." I extricated myself from his body and pushed up into a sitting position on the side of the bed before scrubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Sorry about getting all clingy in my sleep," I told him over my shoulder. 

He closed his eyes and folded his hands behind his head. "You don't need to apologize. We were physically close in your dream last night, so it's no surprise you felt the need to move closer in reality." The corners of his mouth quirked up, and he looked at me. "Besides, I quite enjoyed it," he winked.

I smiled back at him. "So that really happened? We really watched the waves together?" 

"In your dream, yes. Though, I stand firm in my opinion that we should experience the real thing together."

I scowled and stood up. "No," I said firmly. "That's not gonna happen." Castiel held his hands up in a surrendering gesture while I scanned the room. "Where's my cat?"

"He went out with Dean last night after you fell. Apparently, much to Dean's dismay, the feline has taken up with him."

"Huh, that's...interesting. Chief normally doesn't like anyone other than me." Castiel got off the bed and stood up, the light from the window falling around his form in a soft halo. Fitting for an angel, I thought. "I need to grab a shower, but then I'm gonna get some coffee, so..."

Castiel nodded. "Of course. I'll just step outside and see what Sam and Dean have gotten themselves into this morning." 

He walked over and paused beside me long enough to brush his lips across my cheek before stepping out and closing the door behind him. I grinned and shook my head as I gathered some clothes for the day. I had the day off, so I pulled out my favorite faded jeans and paired them with a loose t-shirt. 

I hesitated in my underwear drawer. Part of me wanted to grab my usual cotton bra and panties, but another part, the part that was currently winning out, was pushing me to dig deeper and pull out what I referred to as my "confidence boosters." It was a black, lacy bra and panty set I'd bought on a whim one day and only broke out for special occasions or when I needed to feel pretty, but hey, I almost died a couple of times in the last twenty-four hours, so I'm gonna go ahead and call any day I woke up from now on a special occasion. 

I hid my underwear in the wad of clothes and peeked out the door before stepping into the bathroom across the hall before the smell of coffee and sound of sizzling bacon could lure me into the kitchen. It had been a long time since someone else had made me breakfast, so the thought was tempting, but I desperately needed to clean up before seeing everyone else in my apartment. 

I was right about the ribs--my left side now had a rather impressive purple and blue bruise blooming across it--but I still managed to shower and dress quickly, opting to simply finger-comb my wet curls and apply a bit of tinted moisturizer to my face to hide any splotches from my crying jag the night before. Once I was ready, I tossed my dirty clothes in the hamper behind the door and walked out as my heart thundered against my chest.

I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall to watch the scene unfold before me. Dean was at the stove plating scrambled eggs from my skillet and cursing under his breath while Chief meowed repeatedly from where he was curled around the man's legs. Sam was spread out at the kitchen table, his laptop open and sipping from a coffee mug with his left hand while searching through a stack of papers with his right, and Castiel was crouched down in front of my bookcase thumbing through a well worn copy of "The Host."

"Hey!" Sam snapped when Dean put a plate of food right in top of the paperwork. 

"Quit whining and eat," Dean ordered. "You aren't going to heal on rabbit food and coffee. You need protein, man, and no, those power shakes you drink don't count. I'm talking actual food, here, alright?"

"I'm trying to do some research on Melanie's visions of Cas. I can eat later."

Dean shut the laptop and pointed a finger into his brother's bitchface. "Eat now, research later."

Sam's jaw clenched as they stared each other down, but finally he relented. "Fine."

"Fine," Dean echoed, "but I'm taking this for insurance," he said while swiping the computer. 

"Wow," I stated flatly. "You two really are brothers aren't you?"

"You get used to it," Castiel called. "Either that or you learn how to block it out."

"I'm actually surprised you guys are still here," I told them while filling a mug.

Dean turned around and laid the laptop in the counter beside me before looking me in the eye. "Yeah well, Cas didn't want to leave you alone last night, and I still don't trust you so here we are."

I raised a brow. "You don't trust me, but you're eating my food?"

Sam smirked as he poked around the plate with his fork. "He ran to the store this morning. Said something about cooking being cheaper than takeout, but it's really because we haven't been home in a few weeks, and he misses his kitchen."

"Dude!"

"What? It's true!"

I patted Dean's arm and stole a piece of bacon from one of the plates. "Well I appreciate the gesture either way as long as you clean up after yourself." He bit his cheek and turned back to the stove as I took a seat at the table. "How are the stitches, Sam?"

He swallowed his food and said, "They're okay, a little tight, but nothing I can't handle."

"Any redness, irritation, or other signs of infection?"

"Not this morning," Dean interjected while pushing a plate towards me, "but we'll be sure to let you know right away, Doc, if anything pops up."

I crossed my arms and sat straighter in my chair. I'd be damned if someone was gonna sass me in my own kitchen "Problem, Winchester?"

"Like I said, I don't trust you, so you're not touching my brother again. We can handle it now, thanks."

I glared at him, and he glared right back, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides. "You realize I'm trying to save Castiel, right? I'm not trying to hurt any of you."

"Yeah?" Dean asked. "Then why didn't you tell us sooner that you saw him get gutted?"

I got up and rounded the table to get in his face. "It's not exactly something that comes up in a conversation when you first meet someone, Dean!"

"Well maybe it should be! If you know someone's about to die, you tell them! Simple!"

"Stop!" Castiel bellowed and we both turned to look at him. He was standing right beside us, his breathing ragged with anger. "Just, stop," he said quietly. "There's no reason to fight. Dean, I trust Melanie, even if you don't, and I know she doesn't mean me any harm."

Dean narrowed his eyes at the angel. "What'd she do to you, Cas?"

"She didn't do anything that I didn't want to do."

Dean raised his eyebrows, and I facepalmed. "Dammit, Castiel," I muttered. 

"What do you mean 'anything you didn't want to do?'" Dean asked slowly. "What exactly did you do?"

"Last night after she fell, we kissed, and then I held her for a long time before she went to sleep," Castiel told him. "I held her again while I kept her nightmares away. It was quite pleasant."

"I think Cas is trying to tell you to lay off his girlfriend," Sam laughed. I groaned, and that just made him laugh harder, but Dean wasn't laughing. 

"Girlfriend? Cas, what the hell?"

Castiel's smile fell, and a faint blush colored his cheeks as he looked from me to his friends and back again. "We haven't discussed the terms of our, uh, relationship."

My heart gave a painful lurch. Dear lord, he was even more adorable when he was embarrassed. 

Dean eyed me closely. "And what's your take on this?" 

I briefly met Dean's gaze before smiling softly at the angel. "I don't know about 'girlfriend,' but I'd definitely like to see where it goes." Castiel's stare intensified, sending all kinds of dirty thoughts to my mind, but I frowned and held up a finger. "After we stop you from dying."

Castiel narrowed his eyes at me and released his breath in a small huff. "Very well. Sam, what have you found so far?"

We all turned to face Sam, and I felt Castiel step up behind me, his hand ghosting along my spine. I shivered and looked at him over my shoulder, but he was still focused on the younger Winchester, his face the picture of innocence. 

Sam ran a hand over his hair. "Well, I'm going to need a little more detail from Melanie, but now that we're know where it's supposed to happen, I was able to start searching Charleston for anything weird lately."

"Wait," I interrupted. "How did you know it was Charleston?"

"I told them this morning," Castiel responded while putting both hands on my shoulders. I leaned back against his chest, and he slipped his arms around my middle. I just couldn't shake this need to touch him. It was like magnets. Whenever we got close, we snapped together.

"What'd you find?" Dean asked as he took a seat beside his brother.

"Get this," Sam started. "There have been three people found dead with a two inch slit in their throats, but the crazy thing? They had a gaping hole in their chests, like something had been punched through."

Castiel stiffened behind me. "Lucifer," he said. 

"It fits with Melanie's description of a blonde man," Sam nodded. 

"We have to stop him now, before he moves on," Castiel declared, his voice full of determination. 

I furrowed my brows. "Lucifer? The actual devil, Lucifer?"

"He managed to steal a portion of my grace after we escaped from Hell," Castiel explained. He moved to stand behind Sam and scanned the laptop screen from over his shoulder. "That's why I'm still weak. He's been feeding off of other angels to keep his power levels up, but it looks like he's burning through the grace quickly, which means he's been busy."

"Busy doing what?"

He shook his head. "I don't know, but it can't be good. We have to go," Castiel told Dean.

The hunter nodded and stood. "I'll go grab what's left of our stuff from the motel and swing back by in thirty. Be ready to go when I get here." He snagged his jacket off the back of my loveseat and shrugged it on before pointing at Sam. "Keep an eye on these two." I rolled my eyes, but Dean was already out the door.

"You can't seriously be considering this," I told Castiel. 

He looked away from me, his jaw tensing with defiance. "I have to stop my brother before he hurts anyone else."

"You're walking right into my vision! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

His blue eyes snapped to mine. "My choice, Melanie. Remember?"

"To die?" My voice wavered, and I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

"If I have to."

"Then don't ask me to watch," I whispered before turning and walking into my room. I slammed the door shut behind me, and the sound echoed in the small apartment.

Maybe it was a childish move, but I couldn't find it within myself to care. Castiel knew how I felt, but it seemed like he was intent in serving himself up on a silver platter, and I couldn't stand by while he did. 

I wouldn't watch him die. I couldn't.


	9. Chapter 9

I was such an idiot. 

Of course I'd let myself get roped into caring about the one guy who was focused on getting himself killed. Of course I'd fall a little harder for him every time he turned those blue eyes up to look at me. Of course I'd develop some kind of sick need to touch him whenever possible. Of course I'd start fantasizing about the way he'd look if there wasn't a scrap of material between us.

I let my head fall back against the door with a groan. I should have known better. I should never have let myself get involved with a freaking angel of all things. And not just any angel, no, I had to find the one angel with a heart so pure he'd do anything to save humanity because he loves us more than his own family. 

He was leaving. Despite my warnings and protests, Castiel was leaving to meet his end. Maybe the intensity of our emotional connection was one sided, then. Maybe he felt the physical fire between us when we touched but not the emotional one that plagued my heart. 

Castiel had always looked at me with such tenderness in his eyes that I thought surely he must care. And he changed my nightmare into one of the best dreams I'd had in a long time, so how could it just be a physical thing for him?

What a joke.

I heard the shuffle of footsteps outside followed by a quiet knock on the door. Then I heard his voice say my name, and dear Lord, I wanted nothing more than to go to him, to throw myself at him and beg him not to go, but I was too proud to give him the satisfaction, so I bit my lip to keep quiet while the first of my tears fell. He sighed, and I heard something slide down the door. When he spoke again, I could tell he was now mirroring my position. 

"I know you're angry with me, and I understand why, but please," his voice shook slightly, "please understand why I have to go. My brother must be killed, and no one else will dare go against him. He's murdering people, good people who gave up their bodies to let angels walk this earth within them."

His voice grew quiet, sad. "There are so few of us left now," he continued. "We used to battle together in large armies against all kinds of enemies. We were fierce, unstoppable, warriors of Heaven who knew no equal, and then we destroyed ourselves. I don't want to leave you, but I have to stop Lucifer and save what's left of my brothers and sisters. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try.

"I do care about you, Melanie, in a way I didn't think was possible, so please, if I am going to die, don't make the last image I have of you be one of anger. Let me hold you one more time."

Damn him and his velvety voice. I was full on crying at that point, the emotions he poured into his little monologue pricking my heart until it bled steadily for him and his cause. I shifted onto my knees and opened the door, wrapping my arms around him as he fell backwards a bit with the sudden change. 

Castiel turned just a little and pulled me into his lap while I buried my face in the curve of his neck, wanting nothing more than to memorize everything about him. I wanted to remember it all, the briny smell of his skin, the stubble on his jaw scratching my face, the tender way he held me and murmured soothing words in my ear. I needed to be able to recall later the exact texture of his windblown hair between my fingers and the heat of his body as I pressed against it.

Castiel started nuzzling me, his lips grazing my skin until he found my mouth, and I couldn't say no. I couldn't deny the need to convey all of my emotions through that physical connection. I gasped into his mouth, and his iron hold on me tightened, drawing me closer to his chest as I felt myself being lowered to the hardwood floor beneath us.

One hand burned against the small of my back while the other came up to cup my jaw. He was everywhere, everything, and the thought of our dwindling time together made more tears leak from my eyes.

"Don't cry," he whispered against my lips as he wiped the tears away. "Please don't cry."

"I can't help it, Castiel. You're leaving me."

He pushed himself up on one arm and stared at me. "I'll always be here, Melanie. Even when I'm gone, a piece of me will always remain with you."

"You're such a sap," I laughed, and his mouth quirked up.

"Maybe," he murmured before dipping down to place kisses against my jaw, "but it's true. You've changed something deep inside me, at the core of my very being, so I'd be a fool not to tell you how much I care."

Castiel looked up at me through his dark lashes, and I could see the truth of it in his eyes. He wasn't just lying to make me feel better or telling me what I wanted to hear. He was being one hundred percent open and honest with me. I could feel it with every beat of my heart, and I pulled him up to kiss me again.

He shifted so that his whole body was pressed against mine from lips to our tangled feet, and I sighed a little when I felt the hard length of him on my hip. Castiel groaned and rocked gently against me before hooking my leg around his waist and repeating the action. The move drew a sharp gasp from me, and I sucked gently on his tongue while wrapping my other leg around him so that he was now kneeling over me.

A nervous cough close by broke us apart, and my head fell back against the floor while Castiel looked at Sam. I'd forgotten Sam was still there. "Cas, uh, Dean just pulled up outside, so we should probably be leaving."

Castiel hummed and leaned his forehead against mine. "He's right. I have to go."

I held his face between my palms and forced myself to nod. "I know, I just...be safe, Castiel. Please be safe."

He didn't say anything, just kissed me again before pushing himself up and holding a hand out for me once he was standing. I allowed him to help me up and wrapped him in a tight hug, laying my head on his firm chest. "Like I said, a part of me will always be with you."

The front door opened, and I heard Dean ask what was taking so long.

"They're saying goodbye," Sam told him, and I felt their eyes on my back. He was right. It was time to let go.

"Call if you get into trouble, okay?" I whispered into the angel's coat.

Castiel pulled back and nodded before dropping a long silver blade out of his sleeve and flipping it so that it was held out handle first towards me. "Keep this close. It will kill most anything you come in contact with, and don't lose it. It's mine and I'll be back for it." I took it, and he gave me a small smile before cupping my face. I gripped his wrists as he kissed me gently. "I can't wait to see you again, Melanie Wilson."

He slipped away while my eyes were still squeezed shut, and I stayed deathly still until I heard the door shut behind me. Then the floodgates opened.  
_____________

I sat on my little couch for a long time until the tears dried up and I passed out from sheer exhaustion. Then I stumbled into the kitchen to heat up a bit of coffee and was met by the mess leftover from breakfast. I wanted to leave it for tomorrow, to shrug off the responsibilities that came with being an adult, but Chief was eyeing the remaining strips of bacon from his spot on the windowsill, and I figured I'd might as well get it over with.

I numbly went through the motions of cleaning the kitchen. Empty this. Toss that. I was on autopilot until I picked up the mug Castiel had been using the night before and ran a finger along the dry coffee stain that dripped from the rim of the cup. How many more cups of coffee would he get to enjoy? 

Nope.

Not going down that rabbit hole.

I closed my eyes and sighed as the mug entered the warm, soapy water. I was washing away the evidence, just like he'd never been there at all.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

I spied his angel blade on the arm of the couch as I wiped down the table with a rag, and I wondered what he'd do without it. Probably has more, I thought. Probably won't be back for that one at all.

I walked over and picked it up, studying the design and feel in my hands. It seemed to fit perfectly in my palm, almost like its maker knew I would eventually come to possess it. I took a few stabs and swipes through the air before flipping the blade quickly and throwing a sharp jab. Not bad, actually. I could get used to having it around. 

I twirled the blade absently between my fingers while I surveyed the room. The boys had done a remarkable job of cleaning up the vampire mess at least, and I wondered how and where they got rid of the bodies. What would the cops think? What would my neighbors say if anyone caught any part of what happened last night?

It was then that I noticed a small stack of books and papers on my bookcase, and yeah, I know, books on a bookcase shouldn't seem weird, but these were not books that I had collected. They were new, at least to me, and as I got closer, I saw a plain white piece of paper folded into thirds on top of the stack with my name scrawled across it in impressive script. I picked it up and began to read aloud. 

"Melanie, 

"I don't claim to understand what has happened between us in the last twenty-four hours, nor do I claim to understand why, but I'm afraid my time is running out, so I'm hoping to give you a little information on my world in the hopes that it might keep you safe while I'm away. 

"These texts cover most monsters, but their main focus is demons and angels. Get comfortable with this knowledge as it could be vital to your survival. Once people have contact with the supernatural world, those things tend to seek them out easier. Why? I'm not sure. Perhaps you will figure that out.

"Our time together--no matter how brief--has been a wonderful change in routine for me. I don't know if I have the metaphorical heart Dean sometimes refers to, but if I do, I'm certain it will break when we finally do part. 

"I'm fighting for love, Melanie. I'm fighting for you.

"Castiel."

I ended with a whisper, his name just a breath from my lips, and folded the paper back up before running my fingers along the leather spines of the old tomes. I scooped them into my arms and placed them on the table before starting the coffee maker once more.

"Castiel, I can't believe you left me homework," I muttered and then grinned knowing he probably heard the comment.

I sat down with a steaming cup of joe and pulled the first book off the pile.

Time to get to work.


	10. Chapter 10

"Talk about a mind-fuck."

I leaned back in my chair and stretched my arms up above my head with a groan. I'd been researching the apparently wide range of monsters, demons, and angels all afternoon, and it was starting to get dark outside. I always suspected there was more to life than what most people experienced--my own visions were proof of that--but I had no idea the list was so extensive. 

The paperwork Castiel included with the books was actually printouts of news stories and police reports from supernatural related deaths, complete with small handwritten notes from Sam in the margins. He'd pointed out the differences between obvious cases and more discreet leads as well as offered tips here and there on researching lore in general. The whole thing had been an eye opening experience, and I gained a newfound respect for the hunters, but it was getting late, and I needed a break. 

A flyer advertising a neighborhood flea market/street fair I'd stuck to the fridge caught my eye, and on a whim I decided to check it out. I pushed away from the table and wound my hair into a loose bun before snagging my zip up hoodie and cell from my dresser. I grabbed a wad of cash from my savings jar and stuffed it in my pocket. You never know what you'll find at these kind of things.

I topped off Chief's food bowl and scratched him under the chin before heading out and locking the door behind me. The skies were clear in the waning twilight, and a few stars had already blinked into sight above the city lights. The sidewalk was busy but not overly crowded, and I slipped in my earbuds as I walked, hoping music would keep my mind away from the angel in my heart. I needed something numbing but easy, so I cut on Pandora and switched it to shuffle, letting the universe choose songs at random to fill my head.

I was quietly singing along to Bon Jovi when I turned the corner onto my designated street. It seemed the fair portion was in full swing. Someone had strung twinkling white lights through the trees above, giving the scene a glowing, romantic feel. Various games and booths serving food were scattered intermittently, but a few yards still sported an assortment of goods, and I made a beeline for the first elderly couple I saw running a yard sale. Pro tip? Old people have the best junk.

I gave the wrinkly pair a small wave and started sifting through the piles in search of cheap treasure. Something about the feeling of giving new life to someone's trash (for the right price, anyway) gave me a thrill. It's actually how I found most of my book collection. It was a cheap, mindless hobby I could lose myself in, and it was exactly what I needed at the moment. 

I was digging through a bowl of tangled jewelry marked "$0.50" when I pulled out a silver angel wing pendant on a long chain. It wasn't large, but it reminded me of Castiel and brought a smile to my face, so I bought it and quickly fastened the chain around my neck, letting the single wing settle just above the swell of my breasts. The rest of the houses were a bust, so I picked up a bag of popcorn and headed home. 

My phone started ringing as I passed by an old hardware store, and I frowned at the name on the screen.

"Sam?" I asked. "I don't remember getting your number."

He huffed a laugh on the other end. "Yeah, sorry about that. I kinda broke into your phone last night and added all of our contacts. I figured you might need them."

His comment hit me like a bucket of cold water. I hadn't even thought to ask Castiel for a number. We'd done a little bump and grinding and caring and sharing, but I'd forgotten to find any way to contact him later. 

"Uh, thanks," I laughed. "Any breaks in the case?" Is Castiel still breathing? 

"We might have a lead on Lucifer, so we'll probably check that out later tonight." I heard shuffling in the background, and Sam made a hushed comment to someone before he came back on the line, the sounds of a struggle filtering through. "I'd ask if you've started your homework, but I think someone wants to talk to you." He handed the phone over with a chuckle, and I held my breath, praying it was who I wanted it to be.

"Hello, Melanie."

"Castiel," I breathed, the smile on my face stretching til it hurt. "Hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm doing much better now. How was the trip?"

Castiel sighed. "Loud and long suffering with Dean at the helm. He's still a bit grumpy and can be a real pain." His voice rose towards the end, and Dean shouted in the background. 

"Blow me, Cas!"

I full on laughed at that, my head tilted back as I cut down a narrow side street. "Sounds serious in there. How do you guys get anything done?"

"It's not all bad. Dean has many admirable qualities that makes spending time with him easy," Castiel said fondly.

"You really do care about them, huh?"

"We've fought many battles together. It'd be difficult not to be so emotionally invested."

I sighed and fingered the wing on my chest. "It's good to hear your voice, Castiel. I wasn't, I mean I didn't know if I would get to again." He didn't say anything for a few beats, and I bit my lip while I listened to him breathe.

"Is it appropriate to say how much I miss you?"

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Yeah. Yeah, it's appropriate."

Castiel released his breath in a large huff then, and his voice was strained with emotion. "I wish you were here with me. I thought about you the whole drive down here, and I wondered how you were holding up."

"You should've called." He hummed in agreement, and I heard the sound of a door closing. "Where are you?"

"I decided to take a walk while Sam and Dean change into suits. It's quite beautiful out tonight."

"It is," I agreed, looking up at the stars above me. "I'm actually on a walk myself, did a little shopping at a yard sale."

"Find anything interesting?" he asked, and for a moment I imagined he was also looking to the heavens, his neck stretching back and eyes raised. The image was comforting, and I smiled. 

"A little something," I told him, "but you've gotta come back to find out what it is."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really, so you'd better finish saving the world and get your asses back here." That drew a laugh from the angel, and I took a moment to lean against a brick wall and shut my eyes, getting lost in the sound of him. 

"Or you could go to them."

My eyes snapped open. The blonde man from my nightmares was casually leaning against a streetlamp across from me, and I swore under my breath.

"Melanie?" Castiel asked.

"What do you want?" I snapped at the man. Castiel was now repeating my name over the phone, asking all kinds of questions I was too afraid to answer. 

The man slipped his hands in his jeans pockets and tilted his head as he looked at me. "You know, most people ask who I am first. The whys and hows usually come later."

"I already know who you are, Lucifer." I growled the last bit. I'd grown to hate this guy with every fiber of my being. Not that I liked him before, but once I saw him kill Castiel every freaking night, I absolutely loathed him. "Now why are you here?"

He pushed off the lamppost and shrugged before walking a few steps to my left, his features totally nonchalant. "When I heard Castiel and his two little pets were looking for me, I did a little snooping of my own and found out something very interesting." He stopped and tapped his chin with one finger. "You wanna know what that was?"

"Wait, is this the epic villain monologue where you tell me your whole plan, and I use it against you later?" I asked with feigned excitement. I needed to keep him talking long enough to let Castiel know what was going on.

Lucifer's face darkened, and his voice dropped. "I know about your little 'connection' with my brother, and I know he's listening to every word I say." He stepped right up to me and took the phone away, holding it up to his ear as he brushed a stray hair out of my eyes. "So hear this, Castiel. I'm going to hang on to Melanie for a little while, call it insurance. What do you say?" 

Lucifer winced and leaned away from the phone as muffled yelling came from the speaker. "I don't think he likes that idea very much," he told me. "How about we give him a little persuasion, hmm?"

Suddenly my insides were burning, and I cried out in agony, falling to my knees. The devil crouched beside me as the pain continued and grabbed a fistful of my hair. "Tell him to back off, and you might just make it out of this alive."

I could hear the desperation in Castiel's voice as he begged me to hold on and promised he'd come for me. It was the one thing that gave me strength. I bit back a scream, even as my intestines felt like they were being twisted and pulled apart, but I refused to give Lucifer what he wanted. 

He sighed and put the phone back to his ear. "You've got one hour to get out of Charleston, brother. If I so much as sense you anywhere within five miles of me, your girl gets to be my hellhound's new chew toy."

He ended the call and leaned in with a grin. "Wanna take a walk on the beach?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Wanna take a walk on the beach?"

The pain had lessened to a dull throb, and I used the reprieve to glare at the devil. "Screw you, asshole."

"Hey, don't say I never offered to do anything nice for you," he said and reached for me. I flinched back instinctively, but Lucifer just rolled his eyes and scooped me into his arms.

"Where are we going?" I mumbled wearily as he stood. My mind flew back to Chief. Who was going to care for him while I was being kidnapped or whatever? 

"Don't worry about your cat," Lucifer commented while looking up and down both ends of the street. Apparently the fucker was reading my mind. "I can assure you that he and the rest of your apartment complex are toasty warm right now." My jaw dropped at the implication, and he winked at me as the world fell away.

Everything got really hazy and colors blurred together for half a second before I was unceremoniously dropped onto a cold cement floor. I hit with a thud, the air punching out of my lungs, and I started to push myself up only to realize I was now chained to some kind of rack, each limb stretched out away from my body. The balls of my feet rested on the floor, but I could do little more than rise onto my toes for a few seconds before slipping back down, though, not far enough to actually let my heels touch the concrete. I'd tire fairly quickly in this position. 

I lifted my head to stare at where Lucifer stood just inches in front of me. He held my gaze and moved closer, his body lined with mine from pelvis to chest, and slid his cool hands around my waist until they grasped the angel blade still at my back. "Can't have you running around with this now can we?" he murmured before pulling it away and stepping back. 

Lucifer ran a finger along the blade and flipped it in his hand a few times before circling me like I was his next meal, but then, who knew? I probably was. Castiel, I prayed, please hurry.

I was answered by the blade dragging down the back of my left thigh, and I screamed more from the shock of the wound than the pain itself. Blood was soaking my jeans already and pooling in my shoe. 

"You know," he said thoughtfully, continuing to circle my form, "to do this the right way, you should really be naked." I heard a snap, and then the cool air hit my skin. I was stark naked from head to toe, and I felt a blush color my cheeks with embarrassment. "No one's here but us, sweetheart. Relax."

I closed my eyes and focused on Castiel. He was coming. I just had to survive--

Pain once more hit me like a Mack truck, and I nearly bit my tongue off trying to contain my groan. Lucifer had sliced cleanly across my ribs that time, opting for a site with less flesh than the last one. The pain was different, but I suspect he knew that.

"I had an interesting chat earlier with Fate." He prodded along my bruised ribs as he spoke, pushing deeper in some places and massaging in others. "See, when I heard Castiel was in town, I wanted to know what the outcome would be if he and I were to dance. I know he's still weak, but Dad must really like the guy, because he's got the strangest luck sometimes." 

I couldn't help but cry out when he gave a rough squeeze, and I swear I heard--yes, heard--my ribs break under the pressure. Lucifer released me and continued, talking like he was discussing the price of milk or gas or something. 

"Anyway," he said while pressing the tip of the blade against my breast, "I ran downstairs to where I keep the bitch locked up, and guess what she told me?"

"You're bound to get fucked eventually, might as well be now?"

He laughed. I made Satan laugh.

"Nope. She said he'd die, of course, but it was the how that got me." He pointed a finger into my face and said sternly, "This is the important part, so pay attention. Fate said Castiel would die in the arms of his soulmate!"

I sucked in a breath, and he sliced into my breast with a smile. "I know! Right? I, of course, was curious. 'He's an angel,' I said. 'We don't have soulmates.' She said that the little pain in the ass had tried to screw her over a few years back, so she decided to take a trip back in time to when you were created and plant a piece of your soul in him and his grace in you, and voila! Presto soulmates!" His hands were raised as he said it, and he dropped them with a smirk.

"You're lying," I grit out. He had to be. There was no way we were...We couldn't be, right? But then, it would explain our crazy connection and why we couldn't keep our hands off each other once we started kissing. 

"Swear to Dad. She wrote it down in her little book and everything."

"Why?"

That stopped him. He captured my chin and jerked it up to look me in the eye. "She did it so she could have the satisfaction of watching you fall in love and then snatch it away before giving you a chance to really explore it." Lucifer sneered and pushed me away. "Nothing worse than lost potential."

That was it, then. Castiel really was going to die in front of me like I'd seen so many times before. Apparently it was the inevitable end to our short story. I never imagined I'd be part of such a tragic tale.

"And the rest of us?" I asked. "Me, Sam, Dean? Do we survive?" 

He just grinned and continued to slice into my flesh.  
_____________

I was left alone after Lucifer got tired of taunting me. I guess he got bored or whatever when I stopped asking questions. Who knew?

After a few minutes of worrying whether or not I was going to bleed out from the numerous cuts on my body, a black-eyed demon in a grey business suit appeared to inform me the Winchesters were spotted heading west out of town. That meant they had abandoned me, and I would be held captive until Lucifer deemed otherwise. 

Good, I thought. At least Castiel would survive. 

The demon made a few leud remarks about my body, but I was too tired to come up with a witty retort, so I just hung my head until he left, too.

The silence in the room was deafening. The only sounds were my own ragged breathing and the chains if I shifted my weight. It was cold, damp, and dark save for a single bulb that would occasionally swing a bit, though I couldn't figure out what caused it to move. There seemed to be no pattern, but I kept myself occupied for a while by counting the seconds between its sway. Holding my head up at all became too much after a while though, and I slowly slipped into unconsciousness.   
_____________

I was standing on the beach alone and staring out at the grey-green waters. Everything was deathly still, but it was chilly out, and I wrapped my arms around my middle to stay warm. The dream lacked the sense of reality that my visions held, so I knew I was actually asleep and not seeing a twisted version of the future. For some reason that gave me comfort. 

I looked towards both ends of the beach, but not a soul was out there with me, so I turned back to the water with a sigh. I'm not sure what the point of this dream was. Maybe it was just something to give my mind a break from the cold dungeon I was being held in so I could actually rest.

I stared out at the horizon, and my thoughts strayed to the angel who'd abandoned me. I guess I kind of got why he left. Lucifer flat out told him I'd die if he didn't, so it made sense, though I wasn't sure how much longer I could survive strung up like that. 

The soulmate thing threw me for a loop at first, but after all I'd learned in the last few days, it didn't exactly seem impossible, and Castiel did say he'd met Fate once, so it wasn't hard to believe he'd pissed her off. I wondered how he managed to do that, but I didn't know if I would get the chance to ask him and quickly moved on to more pressing matters.

If Castiel wasn't going to save me, I'd have to do it myself. There had to be a way out, I just had to find it.

I closed my eyes and longed to be in his arms. I felt right around him, whole. There was a sense of peace and security whenever Castiel was near, and I missed that feeling, but mostly I just missed him. 

I missed the way his blue eyes never missed anything in the room, and I missed the attentive way he listened to others talk, like they were imparting the secrets of the universe. I missed the way his eyes narrowed when he was contemplating something and how he'd absently lick his lips every now and then.

I missed his windblown hair and the feel of his trenchcoat under my fingers. I missed his utter lack of respect for personal space and the warmth that practically radiated from his body. I missed his gravelly voice, and I missed the sound of my name on his lips.

Suddenly, a hand was on my elbow, spinning me around, and I probably would have hit the sand, but two strong arms wrapped around me and held me up. 

"Melanie!"

I looked up into Castiel's impossibly blue eyes and carded my fingers through his hair. "I wondered if I'd dream of you," I sighed.

His face was tense, his brows pulled together and jaw tight. "Melanie, I don't have much time. You have to listen to me!"

I frowned. That wasn't what I expected from Dream!Castiel. "What?" 

He took my hand and pressed it to his chest, and I blinked at the feel of his heart racing. "I didn't abandon you, Melanie."

He was in my dream? "Castiel?"

The angel nodded, his eyes wild. "I'm here, and I'm coming for you. Just please hang on!" 

He grabbed my face as tears started burning the back of my eyes. I couldn't believe he was real, and I didn't want to miss a second of him. "Castiel, I--"

His eyes went wide with fear, and a stabbing pain in my shoulder brought me back to the real world. 

"Wakey, wakey, sweetheart!" Lucifer sang as he pulled the blade from my body. He was wearing a sickening grin and lightly slapped my cheek a couple of times. 

"Get away from me!" I yelled. How dare he lay even one finger on me. Only one angel had a right to this body, and it sure as hell wasn't him.

He just chuckled and cut a line onto my cheek. "We've got a lot to do today," he told me. "Let's get started."

It was time to find out how much longer I could last.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, trigger warning for this chapter. There's a scene where rape is threatened for intimidation purposes, and the OFC thinks its going to happen, but it doesn't. Just fair warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a raging pain in my ass. I've written and rewritten it several times, and finally I just decided to give it to you guys. I'm not very happy with it, but I'm tired of messing with it and just want to move on.

I couldn't bring myself to look at my captor. 

Lucifer had been at the torture for a while, and my body sagged from the chains. I couldn't do it anymore. Any strength I had was gone.

I lost control over my bladder when he cut deep into my lower abdomen. He screwed his face up in disgust as urine spilled onto the floor, and after I pulled myself together, I smirked and made a comment about him giving me a c-section without inserting a catheter first. Lucifer didn't take that very well.

That was a long time ago, though. I was on just this side of consciousness, trying to block out the tune Lucifer was humming while he carved my flesh, when I heard him sigh.

"I could do so much more with you if we were in Hell," he said, "but for now I guess we'll just have to make do."

I felt his icy fingers touch my forehead, and a rush of energy burst through my body. It was over as quickly as it started, and I gasped loudly at the sensation. Suddenly I was whole again. My wounds had knitted together, and my energy was restored. Even my ribs didn't hurt anymore. 

Lucifer stepped back, one arm crossed over his chest while the fingers of his other hand tapped his chin, to appraise me. "You humans are so fragile. You would've died if I didn't heal you soon, and where's the fun in that?"

"How long are you going to keep me here?" I asked as I watched him mill around the room.

"I haven't decided."

"Castiel gave you what you want. He's gone, so let me go!" My chains rattled as I screamed, but Lucifer seemed unaffected by my outburst. 

"Funny thing them leaving like that," he said. "You know, those three never give up so easily, so I'm going to wait a while longer, just in case." He punctuated the sentence with a wink that said more than his words ever could. 

I was never getting out of there.  
_____________

Lucifer decided to experiment with fire later that day.

It started with a Zippo lighter held under my wrist. He wanted to know just how far close the flame had to be in order to start burning the skin. He said the physics were different in Hell, and he enjoyed getting to be so hands-on for the first time. 

Eventually Lucifer moved on to burning other parts of my body. Second degree burn here, third degree there. He scattered little first degree burns all along the inner portions of my thighs--which was more annoying than anything--and a large fourth degree burn charred me from my right hip up to my underarm. That thing took a helluva long time to get through. He let me stew in my literal juices for a while after that before healing me again. 

Then he started breaking bones.

Lucifer started with my fingers. He sang "This Little Piggy" as he moved across my hands, and when the last one went "all the way home," he decided to hit my arm so hard my humerus snapped. He thought it was hilarious. 

My feet were next. He ground his steel tie boots into the tips of my feet until he was certain he'd broken each bone there. I couldn't stand under my own power anymore, so I screamed as I hung from broken limbs.

Two swift kicks to my thighs left clean breaks in both femurs. My torso was used as his personal punching bag, and I couldn't quite seem to get used to the taste of the copious amounts of blood I coughed up. 

I didn't know how long I'd been there. A couple of days at least, maybe more. I was beginning to wonder if Castiel had actually been in my dream or if I had wanted to see him so badly that my mind made me believe he was real. 

Regardless, I was getting pretty damn tired of the endless cycle of torture and healing Lucifer seemed keen on keeping up, but at least there were breaks every now and then that allowed me to look at something other than his stupid face. He kept talking though, always with the talking, and I'd have given my left arm to hear something other than his grating voice, if for no other reason than to break up the monotony. 

I had to admit, however, Lucifer was certainly an interesting creature. I thought I had problems. This guy was hung up on God locking him up. Then, when he finally reunited with dear old Dad, Lucifer just couldn't accept that God ran off again after saving us humans. Uh, newsflash, dude. Once a distant parent, always a distant parent. 

And, of course, he was jealous of us humans. Said we didn't deserve the gifts God had given us, but really he was just mad that God liked us better. So, hardy-har-har, asshole. 

It turns out the repeated healing sessions or whatever kept me from becoming dehydrated or malnourished, but because I wasn't actually eating or drinking, my bowels and bladder never had anything to process. In other words, I didn't piss all over myself anymore, much to Satan's delight. 

As time passed, I began feeling more and more hopeless. So what if I made a stupid comment to Lucifer? The worst thing he could do was kill me, but that would only let me out of his hold, and he just couldn't have that.

My tolerance for pain had heightened remarkably, but Lucifer was never short on new ideas. Sometimes I'd allow myself to get lost in the torture. Physically, yeah, I was screaming and hissing and panting, but mentally, I was on a beach, Castiel at my side, watching the waves as the sun warmed my back. Or I was reliving that heated make out session in my bedroom when he backed me up against the dresser. 

I'd have given anything to see my angel again.   
_____________

"One week today, sweetheart," Lucifer told me in a sugary tone. I wanted to hurl at the sound alone. He'd been using the angel blade on me for a few minutes in silence, carving several long gashes into my flesh before he spoke. 

Had it really only been seven days?

He walked over to the small table he'd placed in the corner and folded his arms as he decided which tool to use next. "You know," he said over his shoulder, "there's something I've been dying to try." Lucifer turned around and walked over to me sans torture device. 

"No gift?" I snapped. 

His eyes narrowed slightly before raking over my body. The look gave me chills. It was different from how he usually eyed me. Most of the time there was a hate filled fire behind whatever expression he'd plastered on his face, but today there was a hunger in the air, and I kept my mouth shut for fear of provoking him further. 

Lucifer dropped his voice. "Oh, I've got you a gift." His cool hands gripped my hips and kneaded the flesh there before he snapped his fingers, and the chains snapped, dropping me to the floor. 

I scrambled back towards the wall behind me, putting as much distance between us as I could, but the archangel stalked forwards, his hands curled into fists at his sides, until he was standing over me. I had a good idea of where this was going, but I was determined to fight him every step of the way.

His hand shot out and twisted in my hair, and he dragged me back over to the bottom rail of the rack I'd been chained to while I tried to scratch and claw my way out of his grasp. He threw me across it and knelt behind me while pressing my face to the blood covered floor. "I've got plans for you, Melanie," Lucifer whispered in my ear. He punctuated the remark with a long swipe of his tongue along my neck, and I jabbed an elbow back into his gut. 

I might as well have been hitting a brick wall.

"Get the hell off me!" I tried to make it sound threatening, but it came out shaky. I was scared, and he knew it.

"You do what I say," he murmured. "Got it?" 

I whimpered just before shouts and gun shots rang out on the other side of the only door in the room. Lucifer disappeared in a flash, and I dragged myself over to where he kept his torture tools. After a few failed attempts at standing, I blindly reached up and grabbed the first weapon I came across, grinning when my hand closed around the angel blade Castiel had given me. Whatever chaos had erupted outside provided enough of a distraction for me to arm myself, and I sent a quick prayer of thanks to whoever was still listening. 

Something crashed against the door, and I flipped the blade around in my palm while pulling the table down in front of me to use as a barrier between me and whatever came next. There was more shouting, and the door handle jiggled once before a brief silence. Then it was kicked open, and a man charged in, quickly scanning the room.

Holy shit.

"Castiel!"

The angel's bright eyes snapped onto me, features fierce and honestly a little terrifying, before running over and falling to his knees beside me. 

"Melanie! Are you alright?" He was cupping my face in his big hands, thumbs brushing tears from my cheeks as he stared at me. 

"I never thought I'd see you again," I choked out. 

He quickly shed his trenchcoat and wrapped it around my shoulders. "I'm sorry it took us so long to find you," he said while he helped me thread my arms through the huge sleeves. "I had to take out my grace so Lucifer wouldn't be able to sense me. Can you stand?"

"Maybe," I mumbled weakly. "What do you mean you took your grace out?"

A wry grin twisted his face while he cinched the belt around my middle. "We had to make my brother think we'd left town, so we met up with another angel about thirty miles west of here, and he helped me remove my grace and heal the wound." His big blue eyes flicked up to meet mine. "I'm basically human now."

My heart dropped. If Castiel was human, he was vulnerable. "Why the hell would you come looking for me? You're gonna die, Castiel!"

"I told you I'd come back for this," he said, holding his angel blade up. He wrapped an arm around my back and started to lift. "Come on."

I tried to help him, but my legs buckled the first time, and I would've hit the ground again if it weren't for Castiel supporting my weight. He lowered me back to the floor, and I gripped his shirt, hiding my face in his neck as I tried to take a couple of breaths. "Been a while since I tried walking," I huffed. 

Castiel growled, the sound reverberating in his chest. "I'm going to kill him."

"Only if I don't get to him first," I grinned. 

The corner of Castiel's mouth turned up, but his eyes were still tight with worry when he looked at me. "Let's try this again." 

My second attempt was much more successful than the first, and Castiel helped me limp to the door where he propped me up on the wall while he took a look outside. He nodded to himself and ducked back under my arm. "You're going to have to move quick if we meet someone so I can take them out," he whispered while half dragging me down the dark corridor. 

"I can do that," I grunted. 

No sooner had the words left my mouth than a demon rounded the corner ahead. He snarled, and Castiel shrugged my arm from around his shoulders before charging. He blocked the demon's attempt to strike with his left forearm and drove his blade up into his chest with his right hand. The demon's face lit up with an eerie orange glow as he fell to the floor. The whole encounter didn't last long, and Castiel was back at my side in seconds. 

We met two more shortly after, and Castiel kicked one in the chest, knocking her several feet back before pinning the other against the wall. When the woman ran towards him, Castiel stabbed the pinned demon and spun, his hand wrapping around the first demon's wrist and jerking her forwards. His blade just so happened to be in her path as she fell. Oops.

Seeing him fight like that...well it did something to me, and I blushed when he looked at me all intense and breathing heavily. 

"What?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I said. "It's just, you're a freaking warrior, Castiel, a total badass."

That drew an honest to God smile from the angel that he tried to hide by looking down. "I think you took a pretty good hit on the head, Melanie. You seem a bit confused."

"About you being a badass? Nope. I know one when I see it." He just huffed a laugh and pulled me towards him. 

Several twists and turns later, Castiel kicked open a door, and I squinted in the harsh flood of daylight. "We have to hurry," he told me, picking up his pace as we crossed the parking lot. "I don't know how long it will take Lucifer to find us."

I saw Dean's precious Impala ahead, the black paint and chrome shining in the sun. I could practically taste the freedom the car would provide. We were almost there. 

The door burst open behind us, and Castiel spun to put himself between me and the potential threat but breathed a sigh of relief soon after. "Sam! Dean!"

The Winchesters were running towards us, their boots pounding on the cracked pavement. "Cas, man, we've gotta go!" Dean shouted. He jumped in the car and it roared to life while several demons spilled out the side of the building. Sam opened the back door, and Castiel crawled in before pulling me in after him. As soon as the younger Winchester had his butt in the front, Dean was spinning tires to get us out of there.


	13. Chapter 13

My heart was still pounding three blocks away. 

I was tucked into the space below Castiel's arm, my legs across his lap, and he kept running a hand over my hair, brushing it back away from my face. Occasionally he would stop to place a kiss on my forehead before closing his eyes and leaning his head on the back of the seat.

"I think we lost them," Sam said as we rounded a corner onto a busier street than the ones we'd been traveling. He turned in his seat and gave me a small smile. "How you holding up?"

"I've had worse."

A haunted look passed over Sam's face. "Lucifer, did he...?"

"Torture me?" He nodded, and I felt Castiel's arms tighten around me. "Yeah. He wouldn't let me die though. Kept healing me anytime I got close." 

Sam swallowed hard, face full of understanding, and Dean's eyes found mine in the rearview. Clearing his throat, Dean asked, "Got anything that needs immediate attention?"

"I could use a shower," I said while scrunching my nose.

"Alright. Motel it is then."

We rode in silence for a couple of miles before I spoke again. "How did you guys find me?" 

The brothers exchanged a look while Castiel sat up with a sigh. "That was actually the second place we raided," he explained. "We caught a lead the day he took you, and we went there first after I gave up my grace. By the time we showed up, it was deserted." Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "The only thing left was a pile of your clothes in a room identical to the one I found you in today."

I furrowed my brows and ran through my memories of the last week but frowned. "I don't remember being moved."

"It's possible he did it while you were out at some point," Sam explained. "Lucifer is good at playing mind games." I hummed in agreement, the feeling of the devil pressed against my backside still fresh in my mind, and I shuddered. 

"You're safe now, Melanie," Castiel murmured in my ear.

I let his voice wash over me and grinned up at him. "You've said that before."

He cocked his head, eyes searching mine. "Are you teasing me?"

"Maybe," I whispered and bit my lower lip. 

His eyes darkened, and my stomach flipped when he leaned in. I whimpered at the first brush of his lips on mine, but Castiel swallowed the sound as his mouth opened. I sucked on his tongue, and he groaned.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Dean barked. "No sex while I'm driving!"

Castiel chuckled and pulled back. "My apologies, Dean. I didn't realize Winchesters were the only ones allowed to use this car for sexual activities." 

Sam barked a laugh, his head thrown back, and hit Dean's shoulder. "Loosen up, Dean. Let them have a little fun."

"Like a couple of friggin teenagers," Dean grumbled as he pulled into a motel parking lot. "Out of the car, now!"

They all piled out, and Castiel bent down to help me stand. It was the middle of the day, but I could tell he was instantly on edge out in the open like that. It was a stark contrast to his laidback behavior in the car, and I felt myself curl into his side instinctively as we walked to the room. Sam was the first in, and Dean kept an eye out while Castiel and I entered before following. 

I was led straight to the bathroom, and Castiel had me sit on the toilet while he started the shower and checked the water temperature. Once satisfied, he knelt in front of me and gently picked up one of my bare feet to inspect it. "Do you need help?" he asked before pressing a kiss to my ankle and repeating the process with my other foot.

I looked around, mentally checking off the items I'd need as I came across them, before meeting his gaze. "I don't think so, but maybe stay close by, just in case?"

"Of course." Castiel stood to leave, but I grabbed his hand.

"Thank you, Castiel."

He smiled and bent down to kiss me tenderly. "I'll be right outside your door. Just call if you need anything."  
_____________

I managed to shower without issue, and Castiel checked on me a few minutes in to make sure I was okay and to put my old clothes on the counter. I scrubbed my hair, the feeling of the dirt and blood leaving the long tresses an absolute god send, and I cleaned around the cuts as gently as possible being careful not to make them start bleeding again. Thankfully Lucifer had only laid shallow slices across my body before everything went down, so I didn't think any would need stitches. All in all, it was an amazing experience, though. It felt like I was washing away all the torture and pain I had endured.

And then I tried to get out.

I thought for sure I'd be fine, but I'd forgotten to put a towel down, and my foot slipped on the wet linoleum sending me crashing down. I landed with a scream, and--not surprisingly--Castiel rushed in. Sam and Dean were right behind him armed and ready for battle, but the angel waved them off once he realized what happened. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, draping my still wet body in a towel and grabbed another one to cover my front half while he sat me up.

"Yeah, just a stupid accident." He pulled me to my feet, and I was suddenly very aware of just how little separated us. "I swear I can't walk across a flat surface without faceplanting," I laughed to cover up my nerves.

"I'm more than happy to pick you up when you fall," Castiel said with a smirk.

"Don't patronize me!" His blue eyes danced with mischief, and it hit me. "This is payback for that safety comment, isn't it?"

"I've heard she's quite the bitch."

I shook my head at him in wonder and reached up to brush a bit of hair from his eyes. "What's got you in such a playful mood, huh?"

He stepped closer and wrapped one arm around my waist while the other cupped my face. "I missed you."

"So did I."

I dropped my towel and pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him with everything I had. Castiel was frozen for a second before he pressed his palm to my skin and pressed against me, backing me up to the bathroom sink. I knew Sam and Dean were right outside, but at that moment I just didn't care. I needed to feel my angel inside me.

Growling, Castiel gripped my thighs as he lifted me onto the counter and moved into the space between my legs while loosening his tie. I pushed the blazer off of his shoulders and furiously began undoing his belt and pants while he removed his shirt.

"Sweet Jesus," I mumbled, my hands automatically going to his tan abdomen. He looked kind of skinny with all those layers, but Castiel was lean and toned underneath. A runner's body, I was sure of it. He tensed under my touch, and I peered up at him, afraid I'd done something wrong. 

"Don't stop," Castiel whispered and pressed my hand flat against him. His dark eyes blazed, and I had to remind myself to breathe under the heated stare. "You can't imagine how good that feels."

"You don't get this often do you?"

He closed his eyes and swallowed, his expression almost one of pain. "Personal touch is...rare for me, and this, intimacy, it's only happened once before."

Talk about pressure.

I slid my hand up to trace his chest before running it along his neck and into the back of his hair. "Let me take care of you," I said while pulling him into a kiss. 

I shoved his pants and boxers down before hooking my legs around his waist, locking my ankles together. I could feel his erection hard against me, and I bit his lower lip while grinding against it. Castiel sucked in a sharp breath, and his hips surged forward, seeking friction, but I wasn't ready for it to be over just yet. 

I reached between us and gripped his heavy cock in my palm, stroking it in time with my tongue's thrusts into his mouth. Precum dribbled from his tip, and I smoothed my thumb over his slit before popping it in my mouth, groaning at the taste. His mouth was on mine as soon as I moved my hand away, and he rocked against me. 

"Please, Castiel," I breathed. 

He broke away and stared down at me, one brow lifted in what was probably the hottest expression I'd ever seen. "Please what?"

I started to reach for him, but Castiel caught my hands and pinned them to my sides.

"Please what?" he repeated, the corners of his mouth pulling up slightly. 

I tilted my head back and let all of the lust and love I had for him bleed into my expression as I strained for a kiss. "I need you inside me, Castiel. Please!"

He pushed into me slowly, and his mouth covered mine to muffle the moan I released at the sensation. I hadn't been with anyone in a while, and Castiel was bigger than the few partners I did have, so it burned a little as he stretched me. He rested his forehead on mine, panting when he bottomed out and holding still. I started to squirm, but Castiel gripped my hips and shook his head.

"Don't," he told me in a wrecked voice. "I won't--" Castiel licked his lips quickly before swallowing. "I won't last long."

He inhaled deeply a few times and pulled out just as slowly as he entered me, every inch of him sliding through my sensitive folds as he did. When only the tip remained, Castiel snapped his hips forward, driving into me and setting a pace that had us both moaning aloud. 

Every touch felt like fire on my skin, and every kiss sent electric shocks through my system. Each thrust had me gasping his name, and I cried out when he ground against my clit. The room was filled with the sounds of flesh slapping flesh, Castiel's grunts, and an endless stream of his name falling from my lips. Sweat beaded on our skin in the thick humidity from the shower, and I scrambled to pull him closer, needing every inch of him on my body.

"So tight," Castiel gritted out. "You're so tight, Melanie."

"Shit, Castiel." His voice was driving me crazy, and I felt the familiar tightening deep in my belly.

"I can't, I need you to open your eyes." They popped open, and Castiel's were boring into mine. Too much. It was all too much. "Come for me, Melanie," he ordered. "Do it now!"

I cried out and came undone around him, latching onto his body for dear life, and Castiel followed me over the edge a few quick thrusts later. 

I fell back, and he braced one hand on the mirror behind me while supporting my body with his other hand as we struggled to slow our ragged breathing. He dipped his head and nuzzled my neck and jaw before planting a sweet kiss on my lips and staring down at me. Castiel pushed off the wall and pulled me flush against him as he straightened so that we were locked together in every way possible. His face softened, blue eyes tender as they held my gaze, and he brushed his knuckles along my cheek before cradling my face in his hands. 

I sighed and leaned into his touch, my chest tightening with emotion. Screw it, I thought. What do I have to lose? I opened my mouth to speak, but Castiel ran his thumb over my lower lip and shook his head.

"No," I said and wrapped my hands around his wrists. "I need to say something important." Castiel tensed, and fear flashed in his eyes. "I love you."

A toothy grin stretched across his face, and he leaned in until his lips were just a breath away.

"That's what I was going to say."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was much easier than the last chapter. 
> 
> Thoughts? Opinions? Constructive criticism? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! You'd think a three days weekend would give me more time to write, but alas, the life of a wife and mom only picks up when others are in vacation. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter. I had a pretty good time writing it (when I could), so hopefully it's to your liking. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Castiel and I got dressed, sharing little kisses and touches as we moved around each other in the tiny bathroom. More than once I caught the angel checking me out in the mirror, and his eyes widened comically each time like he couldn't believe I'd seen him. 

I had just pulled my shirt over my head when I met Castiel's eyes again. This time he was grinning ear to ear, one hand tucked behind his back while the other rested on my hip.

I couldn't help but laugh at his goofy expression. "What are you doing?"

"I have something for you," he said and raised his other hand. A silver chain hung from his fingers, and I spun around to face him.

"Castiel! Where did you find this?" I asked while fingering the pendant. 

"It was with your clothing at the first hideout. I thought you might want it back."

"Yeah," I nodded, still smiling. "I definitely want it back."

He had me turn, and I shivered when he pulled my hair around to one side, his fingers grazing the skin on the back of my neck. Castiel put the necklace around me and fastened the tiny clasp before pulling me back against his chest and resting his chin on my shoulder. "Was this what you found at the yard sale?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "It reminded me of you." I frowned and looked down at the single wing. It was the last thing I'd come to posses and the only thing I had left.

Castiel tilted his head to study my face. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head as a lump swelled in my throat. "Nothing."

He grasped my chin and turned my face to look at him. "Melanie."

I swallowed hard and sighed. "It's just that I don't have anything left. Lucifer set fire to my entire apartment building, and even my cat's gone. This is all I have in the world."

Castiel's eyes softened, and he wrapped me in a tight hug. "Then I'm glad I could return it to you."

I closed my eyes and turned my face into the crook of his neck, relishing the warmth radiating from his body. "Thank you," I mumbled, and Castiel answered with a gentle squeeze. I could have stayed in his arms forever, but my stomach gave a loud rumble, and he pulled back but slid his hands down to hold mine. 

"You should eat." I winced. The thought of trying to eat anything made me nauseous. Castiel caught my reaction and frowned. "Maybe something light? I'm sure we can find some crackers at a store nearby."

"Yeah, something light would probably be good," I agreed. "I don't even remember the last thing I had..."

Castiel's jaw tensed, and he looked away. There was something he was holding back. "Lucifer--" He blew a long breath out through his nose and shook his head. "Food first. Then we'll discuss your time with my brother," Castiel growled. 

He opened the bathroom door, and I followed him into the main part of the hotel room. It was deserted, but a quick search produced a handwritten note from the guys. Castiel held it up for me to see. "It seems they've gone for takeout and will return with food for all of us."

I sat on the edge of one of the beds and folded a leg beneath me, watching as Castiel hung his blazer, tie, and trenchcoat over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and started pacing. He was still upset, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. "Castiel?" I asked tentatively. 

The angel stopped in front of the window and hung his head while placing his hands on his hips. I couldn't read his expression from where I was sitting, but his whole body was tense, anger rolling off him in waves. "Yes?"

I bit my lip as I debated on whether or not to go ahead and broach the subject. Castiel had said we'd talk after we ate, but I couldn't take seeing him like that. "Do you...do you want to talk about it?"

He sighed and scratched the back of his head before rubbing his neck. "I suppose." He didn't turn, didn't move at all, so I got up and crept towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Castiel hesitated before covering my hands with his own and relaxing against me. We stood there for a long moment before he finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

What?

"Why are you sorry, Castiel? You haven't done anything wrong."

His shoulders dropped. "I should have listened to you," he admitted quietly. "I never should have come here. What happened to you was my fault."

"You were just doing what you thought was right. I can't fault you for that."

Castiel gave a mirthless laugh. "Some of my biggest mistakes have been made because I thought they were the right choices."

I leaned my forehead against the spot between his shoulder blades and closed my eyes. "You didn't know Lucifer would--"

"I should have," he growled. "I never should have left you so unprotected. I should have warded you and your apartment and--"

"Jesus, Castiel!" His mouth snapped shut as I moved around to the front of his body. He wouldn't look at me at first, so I grabbed his jaw and forced him to meet my stare. "You didn't do this to me," I said slowly. "You are not the one who tortured me for a week. You are not the bad guy here, okay?" I took a deep breath and placed my palm on his cheek, watching the angel lean into my touch. "You are the only reason I survived that place, Castiel. I dreamed of you every second I was there. Every time Lucifer sliced into me or put a flame to my skin, you were my happy place. You made me strong."

His brows drew together over his now watery eyes. "I still feel responsible."

I shook my head. "Don't. You saved me, Castiel, in so many ways."

A tear slid down his cheek as the angel closed his eyes and kissed my hand. "My emotions are much stronger now that I'm human. I forgot how difficult they are to control."

I smiled and kissed him gently. "That's okay," I whispered in his ear. "I kinda like it."

A key slid into the lock on the door, and Castiel tensed, his arms sliding around me protectively as his eyes shot to the figures walking in the door. "Chow time, boys and girls," Dean called out. He set two plastic bags on the table and smirked at us. "I'm sure you both worked up a good appetite."

Sam grinned at us as he carried in a tray of drinks, but Dean raised his brows and stared at the angel beside me.

"Dude," he said seriously, "could you have been any louder? I think the neighbors heard you guys."

"Oh my God," I mumbled as Castiel inhaled sharply. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die from embarrassment. 

"Really," Dean added. "I don't think I'll ever be able to erase those sounds from my mind. Had to take off just to get some peace and quiet."

"Anyway," Sam interrupted, taking a seat at the table. "We want to ask you a couple of questions about your, uh, time with Lucifer, Melanie."

Castiel's hand ran up and down my spine soothingly, but his tone was harsh when he spoke. "Sam, do you really think that's a good idea? You of all people know what making someone relive details of being tortured can do to a person."

Sam's eyes softened as he looked at me. "He may have slipped up and given you useful information at some point. We have to try."

"Sam..." Castiel warned, but I placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"No, it's okay." I took a deep breath and looked around the room before locking eyes with the angel. "There are some things you should know."  
_____________

Seated on the end of one of the queen sized beds with Castiel at my side, I told them everything. All of it. From the moment I heard Lucifer's voice to Castiel crashing through the door in my little cell, I didn't hold anything back, except for the soulmate part, but then, I was still trying to figure out a way to tell Castiel he was apparently stuck with me, and I preferred to have that discussion in private. 

They were, for the most part, quiet throughout my story. Sam occasionally asked questions, prodding for more information like the sponge he was, but Dean ate his burger and fries in silence while never taking his eyes off of me. My angel, well, one of his hands held mine and he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, but the other was in a fist beside his thigh, and it seemed to tighten the longer I spoke making the tendons and veins pop out on his tan hand and forearm. 

"Okay, I get all the torture and using you for leverage," Dean said after I finished, "but how did Lucifer even know about you in the first place?"

Dammit. I should have known Dean would catch The hole in my story.

The other two men in the room seemed to straighten in their seats before turning to me. I looked down at where Castiel's hand was joined with mine, and I prayed he wouldn't freak out about everything. We hadn't exactly committed to anything long-term, at least not in words anyway, and I didn't want to pressure him into something he didn't want.

"Melanie?" Castiel said my name so low I barely heard it, and I reluctantly dragged my eyes up to meet his. There was no judgement there, only a question, the need to know what came next. 

"I didn't know how to tell you," I admitted.

He cocked his head to the side, and his brows pulled together, a little crease forming between them. "Tell me what?" I tried to pull my hand away, but Castiel's grip tightened, his eyes speaking volumes. There was no way I was getting out of this one.

I took a shaky breath and felt a blush climb up my neck to my cheeks. "Lucifer is keeping Fate locked up in Hell, and he's been using her to learn the outcomes of battles and things like that, so he doesn't put himself at risk. He's still weak, but he's getting stronger, and he's using everything he can to gain the upper hand."

"I don't understand," Castiel said. "What does that have to do with you?"

"When Lucifer went to Fate about you, she told him something."

"Told him what?" Dean growled. 

I bit my lip as I looked at Castiel. I really didn't want to tell him. "She said if you and Lucifer went hand to hand, you'd die," I whispered. "She said you'd die in the arms of your soulmate. That's how he knew about me."

"Angels don't have soulmates, Melanie," Sam said slowly, as if he was speaking to a child, "and definitely not human soulmates."

"I know that, Sam, but he said Castiel pissed Fate off a few years ago, and this was her way of getting back at him!" Why weren't they listening to me?

Castiel's mouth started to form a question, but then understanding shone in his eyes and he pressed his mouth into a line. "The Titanic," he muttered. Sam nodded as Dean sat back and sighed while rubbing at his eyes.

"The what?!" I asked, whipping my head around to stare wide eyed at Castiel. 

"Told you that'd come back to bite you in the ass, man," Dean complained. 

"The heck is he talking about?" I hissed. "What did you do?"

Castiel glared at Dean before explaining. "Several years ago there was a civil war in Heaven, and I was losing. I needed souls to gain more power, so I sent a good friend of mine back in time to stop the Titanic from sinking. In saving those lives, I created about fifty thousand more, but once Fate caught on to what had happened, she threatened to kill them all, as well as Sam and Dean, unless I fixed my mess."

I shook my head. "So all those people..."

"It was as if they never existed." Castiel's face was unreadable, and I wanted to remove his mask to get a better look at what was going on in his mind.

"Castiel..." I gripped his forearm. "Why would you do something like that?" I needed to know, to understand how he could play God like that.

"I did what I had to," he snapped, "and I only regret the way things turned out."

The way things turned out? Did he mean us being soulmates? Did he resent me that much already? "I, uh, I can leave if it makes you feel better. Just because we have this bond or whatever doesn't mean I have to stay..."

"That's not what I--"

I stood and cut him off. "No, Castiel. I'm not--" I huffed and dragged a hand through my hair. "Shit. I'm not going to force you into something just because you managed to irritate a celestial being and feel bad about the results." I spied the zip up hoodie I'd been wearing when Lucifer kidnapped me laying on top of a duffel bag in the corner and snatched it up.

The men were silent as I threaded my arms through the sleeves, and Castiel's eyes widened slightly. "Melanie, wait. What are you doing?"

"You shouldn't be in a relationship because you feel like it's an obligation," I told him while trying to keep my tone even. "That's not how it works." I walked to the door, my heart pounding in my ears the whole way, but I stopped with one hand on the knob. "You deserve more than that," I whispered and walked out.


	15. Chapter 15

I didn't know where I was headed when I left, but I knew one thing for sure. I was hurting, and I needed to get away, so I put the setting sun at my back and started walking. It was probably a dumb move--Lucifer was probably still in town, and I had no weapons to speak of--but I couldn't be around Castiel and keep a straight face, not when he said he regretted being my soulmate.

Soulmate. I tested the word on my lips. That was still pretty weird to think about, being tied to an angel, or anyone else for that matter, in such an intimate way. 

I thought back to my confession in the bathroom after we made love and the wide grin Castiel gave me when he said he felt the same way. At that moment, I was so sure of our feelings together, but looking back, perhaps he didn't really understand what he was saying. Castiel did tell me his emotions were stronger as a human and harder to control. Maybe he didn't love me after all.

The realization hit me hard, and my heart gave a painful tug back towards the motel room, towards my angel, but I trudged forward, ignoring his voice in my mind. It was better this way. Castiel was too amazing to be shackled to someone like me. Regardless of how hurt I was, I couldn't do that to him.

The brick sidewalks gave way to concrete about the time I started tearing up, and a wave of shame washed over me as I lost control of my emotions in public. Ever since I first laid eyes on Castiel, it was on a constant rollercoaster ride. Hell, even before that when he was guest starring in my dreams, he still affected me daily. I wasn't used to the highs and lows that came with knowing him. Up until a short time ago I had been happily floating along in my neutral zone.

But then I fell in love.

I was lost the first time I saw Castiel die. I didn't know it at the time, but my feelings for him went far beyond the normal sympathy for someone dying. The feeling I had when he collapsed...it was like my world was crumbling right along with him. Every. Single. Time. He was everything to me, and I had no idea how I was supposed to go on without him, but I knew I had to somehow. 

My heart gave another tug in my chest, and I knew where I had to go. I stepped off the curb and stuck out a thumb as I walked backwards, and pretty soon a beat up pick-up truck was pulling over.

"You need a ride, hon?" the wrinkled old man shouted through the open passenger side window. His voice was kind and a little rough, and I warmed to him instantly. 

"If you don't mind."

He waved a hand and shook his head. "Naw, I don't mind. Where you headed?"

"Isle of Palms?" I asked hopefully. 

"Sure thing, kid. Hop in." The door opened with a creak, and I thanked him as I climbed onto the dusty seat. He kept glancing over at me as he drove, and when we crossed a big bridge, the old man cleared his throat. "Not that it's any of my business, but are you okay?"

"I'm sorry?" 

"Doesn't take a genius to see you've been upset," he commented. "Broken heart?"

I laughed quietly and wiped at my cheeks. "Yeah, you could say that."

The old man squinted at a road sign ahead, his fuzzy white brows lowering so that his eyes were barely visible, before speaking again. "His fault or yours?"

"I'm not really sure," I mumbled, tracing the lines on my left palm. "I'm the one who ended things, but the whole thing is pretty complicated."

We rolled to a stop sign, and he turned to look me in the eye. "Do you love him?"

"Yes, sir."

He raised a brow. "Does he love you?"

"I think so, but I don't know for sure."

"Find out," the man insisted. "If you love each other, everything else can be overcome, but you have to be willing to work for it." He turned back to the road and pressed the gas, but I still stared at him.

"But--"

"No 'buts.' If it's real, you'll make it work. That's what love is. Now," he started as he turned into a sandy parking lot, "do what you've gotta do, but trust me when I say you'll regret not fighting for love. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Everyone dies," I responded flatly. 

The old man laughed and threw the truck in park. "Go, kid. Find out if it's real."

I grinned despite myself and held out a hand. "Thanks for everything. I'm Melanie, by the way."

He shook my hand firmly. "Dessel, and you're very welcome."

I got out and gave Dessel a little wave as he pulled away before burying my hands in my jacket pockets. The sun was setting behind me, and the wind picked up, blowing a cool breeze off of the ocean. It was probably going to rain later that night, but I was content for now to find myself a good seat on the beach.

I topped the dune and breathed deeply, letting the calm wash over me. It was just as I remembered it: dark sand, a pier in the distance, and an endless stretch of grey-green water. A few people were scattered across the stretch, but they all seemed to be packing up for the day, not that I blamed them. It was still pretty chilly for the beach, not exactly sun tan weather, and larger crowds would show up in about another month or so. Still, I was thankful for the bit of privacy it gave me. I needed the space to think and the peace to soothe my soul.

Dessel made a good point. I was hurt by what Castiel said, but I should have stayed to let him explain. Maybe I wanted him to hurt a little bit, too, or maybe it was just my emotions getting the best of me. Either way, I needed to talk to him. I needed to know for sure how he felt. Not yet, though. I needed to get my thoughts in order so I could come back with a level head.

I dropped to the sand with a sigh, crossing my legs and resting my chin on my hands. I stared out at the ocean as I willed my mind to calm. I closed my eyes and synced my breathing with the waves as they crashed. Inhale. Exhale. My muscles began to relax, the tension slowly draining from my body, and I opened my eyes again as a particularly strong gust of wind whipped through my hair, stinging my cheeks.

I scooped up a handful of sand and watched as it slipped through my fingers, "When did it all get so complicated?"

"When you met me."

I dropped my head and let my eyes close as his voice washed over me. Of course he found me. I looked over my shoulder, and there he stood in all his trenchcoated glory. "Castiel," I managed to whisper. 

"May I sit?" he asked, nodding towards the space beside me. I nodded quickly, and he got settled beside me, his legs stretched out in front and palms braced flat on the ground behind him. Castiel squinted at the horizon as the wind whipped through his dark hair. "I feel like I should explain myself."

"You don't have to," I told him, but the angel just looked at me.

"You have a right to be angry at me but not for what you think. I regret what the war in Heaven turned me into, and I regret betraying my friends and people dying because of the choices I made, but Melanie," his blue eyes were pleading, and his voice broke, "I could never regret you."

"I'm sorry," I blurted as the tears let loose again. "I shouldn't have left, Castiel. I was an idiot, and I should have let you talk to me, but I was mad and hurting, and I just had to get away."

"It's understandable," he crooned while wiping his thumb across my cheek. "After everything you've been through...I can't imagine how I would have reacted if our positions were reversed."

I pulled Castiel's hand from my face and into my lap as I scooted around to face him. "No, it's not okay. I was wrong, and I'm sorry." He sighed and shook his head. That's right, angel, I thought. You're not winning this battle. I furrowed my brows as I looked down at our hands. "There's one thing I do need to know."

"Anything."

"Do you actually love me? Do you realize what that means?" I murmured. 

My face was pulled up into a sharp kiss, Castiel's mouth meeting mine with such force that I was nearly knocked backwards by it. "Of course I do," he murmured against my lips. "Melanie, I--" He pressed his forehead to mine and sighed. Castiel pulled back just enough to meet my eyes and, his voice hoarse with emotion, said, "I can't imagine a life without you. I don't want to. So yes, I really do love you."

"And you're not just saying that because you think you have to?"

Castiel shook his head slowly, and it was like the wind had been knocked out of me. This time, I was the one kissing him, and his mouth opened to mine as our lips moved against each other. His hands were threaded in my hair, and I gripped his coat tightly in my fists. Little drops of rain began hitting my face, but Castiel only pushed me onto my back and shielded me from the storm with his body.

"Weird weather," I muttered between kisses. It was nagging at something in my brain, but I couldn't remember what.

Castiel hummed in agreement and started making his way down my jaw to my neck. "We should probably get back. Sam and Dean are waiting for us at the car."

"You're probably right," I moaned as he sucked the juncture of my neck and shoulder. "They'll be getting worried."

"Mhmm..."

He bit down gently, and I gasped, my eyes flying open, and then I screamed. Lucifer plunged his blade down into Castiel's back, and Castiel's mouth opened on a choked cry.

"No!" I gathered him in my arms and scooted back away from the devil above us.

"Good luck healing without your grace, brother," Lucifer smirked while kneeling beside us. He gripped Castiel's jaw and forced him to look at him. "That's why you don't go trusting just any old angel, kiddo! They might turn out to be on the other team." He patted Castiel's cheek and stood, his eyes on the sand dune behind us. "Friggin Winchesters," he grumbled before disappearing. 

Blood was everywhere. It bubbled from his lips, and my hand came away red when I pressed it against his chest. "Cas--Castiel?" I turned his face to look at me, but his blue eyes were blinking slowly and out of focus. I shook him gently and tried again. "Castiel!" That got him to meet my eyes for a second, but then they closed again and didn't open.

The wind was howling around us, and the cold rain pelted our bodies, washing the blood down into the sand. I didn't hear Dean yelling, but I knew it when he fell to his knees beside me. I already had pressure to Castiel's chest, but his back was still bleeding profusely, and when Sam reached us a half second after Dean, he took one look before pulling the angel from my arms.

"Get to the car!" Sam yelled as he hooked his arms around Castiel. Dean grabbed his legs, and Sam jerked his head towards the parking lot. "We've got him! Go!"

I scrambled to my feet and ran as fast as I could until I reached the Impala and slid into the back. After another minute, the Winchesters were pushing Castiel across the seat towards me, and Dean threw me their jackets before jumping in.

We hauled ass to the nearest ER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger? Maybe. 
> 
> Is it over? Nope.


	16. Chapter 16

Now...

I don't know how long I was in the bathroom reflecting on my time with Castiel, but a sharp pounding on the door and Sam's voice broke me out of my reverie. 

"Melanie, he's out! Cas is out of surgery!"

I flipped the lock and yanked open the door as fast as my shaking hands could. Sam was standing there grinning, and he grabbed me by the hand, pulling me towards our seats up the hall. "He made it?" I asked. 

"Yeah," Sam said over his shoulder. "The doctor wants to fill us in."

"He's alive?" I checked again. I needed to know for sure. 

Sam gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and kept leading me towards Dean and a middle-aged guy in teal scrubs who I assumed was the surgeon. The doctor greeted me as we approached, but Dean remained where he was, refusing to even spare a glance in my direction. 

"This is Melanie," Sam told the guy. "She's out brother's fiancee."

The doctor stuck out a hand, and I shook it absently, my entire body numb. "Melanie, I'm Dr. Wright. I was just telling Dean here that Castiel is out of surgery and they're transferring him to the ICU."

"Is he okay?"

Dr. Wright dropped my hand and the hesitation in his eyes scared me. "I won't lie to you, Castiel's struggling, and while he's stable for now, that could all change at any time. We lost him three times on the table, but your man is strong, a fighter, and that will work in his favor."

Dean cleared his throat, but his voice still came out gruff. "Doc, is he awake?"

Dr. Wright shook his head. "We're keeping him on life support right now, just until he's over the worst of it. The last thing he needs right now is to wake up and freak out on us, but I'll allow you to go in and see him in a few minutes if you want. After that, visitors will be limited to two at a time."

Dean thanked him, and the doctor pointed us in the direction of the ICU before excusing himself. 

Exhaustion seeped into my bones, and my body screamed for a nap, but somehow my feet carried me down the hall towards Intensive Care, and I was vaguely aware of the two men following a few feet behind me. The temperature dropped a few degrees when we walked through the heavy metal doors at the end of the hall, and I heard Sam and Dean whispering about it, their voices harsh in the otherwise silent corridor, but I just rolled my eyes. The cooler air was normal for a hospital. They were just being paranoid. 

We reached another set of doors with an intercom beside them, and I stared dumbly at the button, my hand raised but not quite touching it yet. I wasn't sure what to say if someone answered the thing, so I looked to my one ally for help. Thankfully, Sam got the message and pressed the buzzer.

After a few seconds, a woman's voice crackles through the speaker. "Yes?"

"We're here to visit Castiel Winchester," Sam told her without missing a beat. "We're his family. Dr. Wright told us we could check in on him now."

A pause, and then, "How many of you are there?"

"Three."

"The limit's two, but we'll make it work since he's new. Wait for the click, then open the door."

Dean raised his brows at his brother and mumbled something about high security, and we all looked expectantly at the door handles. A few seconds later, there was the distinct sound of a lock turning, and Sam shrugged before pulling open the door and holding it for us to pass through. I wrapped my arms around myself and peeked into each room as we neared the desk, but I didn't see Castiel or his name anywhere. 

A young nurse approached us, chart in hand, and gave a friendly wave. "Hey, guys. You must be the Winchesters. I'm Tammy, Castiel's nurse for tonight."

When had it gotten so late?

Sam stepped forward--he seemed to be taking the lead on things, which was odd, because I thought that was Dean's thing--and shook Tammy's hand. "I'm Sam, this is my older brother Dean, and that's Melanie, Cas's fiancee." He shoved his hands in his pockets, and his brows drew together. "Where's Cas staying? We didn't see him on the way in..." Ah, so I wasn't the only one searching then.

Tammy smiled and pointed to a nearby room. "He's right over there in room three. We wanted to keep a close eye on him, and this way he'll never be far from our line of sight."

I heard Dean release a quiet breath beside me, and he relaxed a bit, but I was straining to see through the open door and into the dark room. I needed to actually see Castiel with my own two eyes before I could accept he was okay. 

"Can we see him now?" I spoke quietly, only shifting my eyes away from the angel's door when I didn't immediately get a response. 

Tammy was staring at me, a small "v" between her brows while her mouth quirked up into a sad smile. "Yeah, hon. You can see him now."

I broke away from the group, not even bothering with courtesy, and flew to the room Castiel was in, stopping short at the scene in front of me. Castiel, my very own angel of the Lord, was laying on the hospital bed, his head slightly elevated and skin ghostly white even in the dim light. Tubes and wires ran in every direction from his body to various machines and an IV pole with a couple of bags hanging from it, and a steady beeping sound came from the heart monitor beside him. 

One of the guys followed me, I didn't know which, but I could feel his sudden presence behind me when my breath hitched. I covered my mouth to stifle a sob as I stumbled to Castiel's bedside and tentatively reached out to hold his hand. His dark lashes fluttered when I made contact with his clammy skin, and my eyes widened. 

"Castiel," I breathed, too afraid to disturb the fragile peace by speaking at normal volumes. 

It was too much. I couldn't handle seeing this fierce warrior of Heaven laying limp and broken in a hospital. This wasn't right. I longed to see the corners of his mouth quirk up in a smile as his eyes dropped to the floor, and I needed to see the wind tease the ends of his hair, but the body in front of me was only a ghost in comparison with his five o'clock shadow and dark circles under his eyes. There was no flex of his muscles to hint at the strength coiled beneath his skin or the deep rumble of his voice to make my stomach quiver in anticipation. 

I raised his hand to my mouth and brushed my lips across his knuckles, being careful not to disturb the tape around his IV site. "I'm so sorry, Castiel. I never should have set foot on that beach," I whispered. 

"You're right," Dean growled from the doorway. "You shouldn't have."

"Dean!" Sam scolded.

I tore my eyes away from Castiel to peek at the men behind me. Sam was leaning against the wall a couple of feet away, a plastic belongings bag tucked behind his feet on the floor, and he had pleading eyes trained on his brother.

Dean was standing guard in the doorway, his back ramrod straight as he glared at me. "If he dies, you'd better pray I don't find you, because you'll be next."

I ducked my head. "I wouldn't fight you, Dean." The heart monitor started picking up its pace, and my eyes snapped to Castiel's face. For the second time, I wondered if he knew what was going on around him, so I squeezed his hand and brushed his hair off his forehead. "I'm still here, Castiel," I murmured. "I'm not going anywhere." His heart rate slowed, and I raised a brow at him. 

"Looks like he's going to be here a while," Sam commented. "We should all go back to the motel and try to get some sleep."

I shook my head, but Dean spoke up first. "No way, Sammy. I'm not leaving him here alone. Not with Lucifer still in town."

"Dean's right." I locked eyes with Sam. "Anything could happen while we're away."

He inhaled slowly while the gears turned in his head. "So we take shifts, then. Two of us go back and sleep tonight while one watches over him, then tomorrow morning we'll trade off so that person can get some rest." Sam held a fist up towards his brother. "Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"Nah, you go ahead and rest, get some food in your system. I'll keep an eye on the nerd over here tonight. Make sure you take Melanie with you." His green eyes never left Castiel's body, and though his voice started out soft, it soon had an edge to it when he practically spit my name. 

I closed my eyes. I knew Castiel was here because of me, but Dean rubbing it in every chance he got wasn't helping any. When I opened them again, Sam and Dean were having a silent conversation. 

"Okay," Sam finally conceded, "but we'll be back first thing in the morning, and you're going to eat and shower and sleep."

"Done."

Sam grabbed the bag at his feet and placed his big hand on my shoulder. "C'mon, Melanie."

"But what if he wakes up? He might need me..." I could feel my heart breaking at the thought of leaving my angel for any length of time.

"I'm sure Dean will call if anything changes." 

I sighed and ran my hand down Castiel's stubble. He'd need a shave soon if he was going to be here for a while, among other things. Maybe I could get it all together and bring it in for him tomorrow. I leaned in close and kissed his cheek before whispering in his ear. "Sam is making me leave for a few hours, Castiel, but Dean is going to watch over you while I'm gone. You'd better be here when I get back." I pressed my forehead to his and squeezed my eyes shut. "I love you."

I turned and left the room quickly, not bothering to see if I was being followed because I felt Sam's eyes on my back as I left the unit. He let me walk alone for a ways but caught up to me before we reached the busier part of the hospital. The emergency room was especially crowded, so the younger Winchester placed a hand lightly on my shoulder to guide me until we got to the car outside. 

Sam held open the door for me and waited until I was safely inside before rounding the good and sliding in. He paused, his hand on the ignition, and looked at me. "He's going to be okay. He always is."

I snorted. "Does this happen to you guys a lot? I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but come on. He died three times during surgery, Sam, and you saw him in there."

He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his mouth, his eyes searching the parking lot through the windshield. "No, actually. Most of the time he dies and gets resurrected somehow. Cas has only been in the hospital once that I know of, and that was during the apocalypse."

"Well that makes me feel much better," I deadpanned.

"You need to get some rest. If Cas finds out I haven't been taking care of you, he's going to kill me."

I tilted my head, my eyes narrowing. "Did he ask you to do that?"

He nodded and started the car. It was quiet while he maneuvered the hunk of metal through the lot and onto the street. We were stopped at a red light when I spoke again. 

"Why you and not Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"I just noticed that they're much closer than he is to you, so I was wondering why he asked you to watch out for me instead of Dean."

A pause. 

Streetlights illuminated Sam's face at regular intervals while I waited, casting eerie shadows on his face that made him look much older.

"Dean doesn't handle loss well," Sam responded slowly, measuring his words. "You're right, Castiel and my brother have always been closer, but there's a reason for that, and I completely understand why. Cas knows Dean almost better than I do, so when we first learned about your visions, he came to me in private and asked for a favor.

"He said you had to be protected at all costs, Melanie, no matter what happened to him. He told me to make you my priority because Dean wouldn't be able to at first. Eventually, sure, but not when the wound is fresh. He was right."

"Thank you, Sam."

A ghost of a smile tugged at the man's lips. "You know, I asked him why he was being so protective over you. You know what he said?"

I shook my head, and Sam huffed a laugh.

"Cas told me he felt this pull towards you from the moment you guys met and you were suddenly the most important thing in the universe to him. He didn't understand it at the time, the physical attraction and need to take care of you, but the more he talked about you, the more I got it. It all made sense. I saw the way he reacted when we hit you with the car and how he looked at you while you were knocked out. Cas was already in love with you, he just didn't know it at the time."

"So it wasn't just me, then," I mumbled and shook my head.

"Nope. I paid extra attention to the way you interacted after I figured it out, but it didn't take long to realize you were both head over heels already. I tried to tell Dean, and he saw it, too, but he's been so worried about Cas that it's been coming across as anger towards you. He doesn't really hate you. Dean's just bad at expressing his feelings, so don't hold it against him, okay?"

I felt Sam's pleading, puppy dog eyes on my face and sighed. "Okay, Sam."

He pulled into a parking space in front of the cheap, no-tell motel, and we silently headed inside. I collapsed on the bed furthest from the door and drifted to sleep almost immediately.


	17. Chapter 17

My back arched off the sand towards the warm body above me. I could feel the line of Castiel's hard body as he pressed against me and smell the briny scent that always clung to his skin. Dreaming, my mind supplied, this isn't real. 

I pushed the thought away. I didn't care about that right now. What I was feeling was real enough, and I wanted to pursue it, see where things were going.

Castiel hummed, the vibrations echoing through my bones. "We should probably get back. Sam and Dean are waiting for us at the car."

"You're probably right," I moaned as he sucked the juncture of my neck and shoulder. "They'll be getting worried."

"Mhmm..."

He bit down gently, and I gasped, my eyes flying open, not because of the sensation but because I knew what came next. Lucifer plunged his blade down into Castiel's back, and Castiel's mouth opened on a choked cry.

"No!"  
_____________

"No!" 

I screamed at the top of my lungs, and suddenly my arms were being pinned down. I thrashed on the bed, tears spilling from my still closed eyes as I fought to escape our attacker. I had to get Castiel away, had to get him to safety. 

My knee made contact with something, and I heard a satisfying grunt of pain in return. Good, I thought. I needed to get Lucifer away so I could take care of Castiel. That joy was short lived, however, as my waist was being straddled, preventing me from repeating the move.

"Melanie!"

Sam? No that wasn't right. He wasn't on the beach yet.

"Melanie, wake up!"

My eyes snapped open, and they searched the familiar person above me. His dark hair was hanging around his face, and I could just make out his features in the dim light from the bathroom. "Sam?"

His grip on my arms loosened, but he didn't let go. "You were having a nightmare, Melanie. It wasn't real. You're okay now."

"A nightmare..." I breathed, sagging against the mattress. 

Sam nodded and got off of me, but didn't go far. "You're okay," he repeated. 

I bit my lip and pulled my knees to my chest, curling in on myself. "It's all my fault," I sobbed. "I should have stopped it. He never should have been there."

Sam's hand rubbed my back in slow circles. "You didn't cause this, okay? It's not your fault."

"But it is!" I pushed myself up and jabbed a finger at my chest. "I knew what would happen if I went to the beach, but I did it anyway!"

"Hey!" Sam barked, and I flinched back. Angry Sam wasn't something I'd seen yet, and it was kinda scary. "We tried to keep Cas away, but he wouldn't hear it! He told us he'd rather die fixing things than not try at all. It was his choice, not yours." He huffed and stood up, pacing a few feet away with a hand on his hip before turning back to face me. "You can't hold onto this guilt, Melanie. It'll kill you if you let it."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent. Sam's words rang in my ears, but I didn't believe them, and I think he saw that on my face because he shook his head and grabbed his duffel bag, heading for the bathroom. 

"I'm gonna grab a shower," he muttered and shut the door behind him.

I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand between the beds and sighed. It was just after six, which meant I'd slept almost five hours before Sam yanked me from the nightmare. Almost six hours since I left Castiel's side. Almost eleven hours since Castiel was bleeding out in my arms.

I closed my eyes and was once again assaulted by the image of Castiel choking on his own blood while I pressed Dean's jacket to the gaping hole in the angel's chest on the way to the hospital. I could still hear his ragged breathing and feel the weight of his body in my lap, the slippery way my hands moved on his blood covered skin. 

I shuddered as a wave of nausea washed over me and opened my eyes to the bleak morning light peaking through the cheap blinds. The urge to pray to Castiel was overwhelming, but I pressed my lips together and managed to stand and search for his bag. Surely he had one, right? I mean, he had been human for several days, so he had to have something of his own.

The bathroom door opened behind me, and Sam walked out, rubbing a towel vigorously against his wet hair. "It's all yours," he told me.

I stopped. "I, uh, don't exactly have a change of clothes, Sam."

He turned and regarded me quickly before shrugging. "The jeans will work for another day, and you can borrow one of the t-shirts Cas used to sleep in for now. We'll stop by a store and get you a few things when we leave here." 

"Seems like you've got all the answers lately." 

Sam's eyes flashed with pain before he shook it off and drew back his shoulders. "Someone's gotta take charge. Might as well be me."

Poor guy. "Thanks again, Sam." I pointed a finger at him, adding, "Just remember to take care of yourself, too. It's easy to get lost looking after everyone else." I should know, I thought, thinking back to when my dad died. I was so busy making sure everyone else was okay that I didn't really grieve until almost a week later.

"I'll try to remember that as long as you remember you're not responsible for what's happened."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but he didn't even flinch. "Touche."

Sam grinned and threw me a dark wadof fabric. "Here."

I caught it and held up the dark blue v-neck shirt. It was a little big, but I was thankful to have it. "Thanks. Seriously though, how are those stitches I put in last week? I know they didn't just disappear."

"They're okay. No infection, so that's good."

"Good." I watched while Sam went about making coffee in the tiny pot that came with our room. "So, I was wondering if Castiel had a duffel bag or anything here."

Sam turned and leaned against the counter. "I don't think so. I mean, he didn't have anything other than what he was wearing when we got here, so there wasn't a need for one. Why?"

I frowned. "Well he's been human for several days now, Sam. He's gotta have something. Deodorant, toothbrush, a change of clothes...?" I waved my hand through the air as I rattled off the items, hoping Sam would see where I was going with it. 

He scratched at the back of his neck. "Well Cas didn't really change clothes much, except for his underwear and socks. I gave him one of my shirts for nighttime, which you now have, and we got him some basic toiletries. They're all in the bathroom," he said, pointing to the open doorway. Sam shrugged. "Cas didn't plan on staying human long enough to accumulate a lot of things."

"I was hoping to get it together so he'd have it at the hospital, Sam. He'll at least need a shave soon."

The younger Winchester walked over to his bed and rummaged through a bag before handing me an electric razor. "You get ready, and I'll pack him a small bag. We can go to the laundromat later and wash everything else. Dean and I need to do our stuff anyway."

"Again with all the answers," I smiled. "Thanks."  
_____________

True to his word, Sam had prepared a bag of necessities for Castiel when I got out of the shower, and I added his few toiletries to it before we left. We swung by a dollar store next, and I raised a brow at him as he insisted money wasn't an issue.

"You don't have jobs, Sam."

"No, but we make do."

"How?"

Sam grinned sheepishly and looked over his shoulder to make sure the clerk was out of earshot. "We use fake credit cards," he explained. "It's not the most honest way to do things, but hustling pool only gets us so far. We have to make up for it somehow."

"Seriously?" I said flatly. 

"Look, just get what you need so we can go," he whispered harshly. 

I laughed and added a pack of plain white shirts to the basket on my arm as Sam walked away. "Hey," I called. "Can you grab a couple of permanent markers and a notepad while you're over that way? One needs grey ink if you can swing it."

He gave me a funny look but nodded before rounding the corner.   
_____________

"So warding, huh?"

"Yep," I replied, popping my lips on the "p" sound. "If Castiel is gonna be in the hospital a while, then I want him to be as safe as possible while he's there."

Sam hummed, and I went back to copying the page of angel and demon warding from the book Sam had handed me when we got to the car. 

"Where are you going to put it all?"

"Wherever I can. That's why I needed a grey marker, so I can ward his bed."

"That's actually a pretty good idea."

"Thanks." I sighed and leaned back, rubbing my eyes as we rolled into the parking lot. "You might want to check my work, though."

He tapped his fingers absently on the steering wheel while waiting for another car to back out of a spot. "Why?"

"Because I don't want that dick Lucifer to get anywhere near Castiel," I seethed.

He shifted the car into park and held out a hand. I handed him the notepad, and Sam scoured the markings, making small changes here and there with a pen from above the visor. "That should work," he muttered, "but Lucifer isn't exactly known for playing by the rules." Sam's hazel eyes met mine as he returned the pad. 

"Then I'll be thorough."

I tore the page from the notepad and grabbed Castiel's bag while Sam picked up the tray of coffees with greasy fast food balanced on top, and we got out. The first thing I did was copy angel warding onto the streetlight a few spaces away in black so that it was practically invisible from more than a few inches away.

"You're going to get arrested for vandalism," Sam teased as we walked inside.

I grinned up at him innocently. "Not as long as you keep your mouth shut."

"About time you guys made it." Dean stood as we entered the waiting room and crossed his arms.

"Dean?" I asked. "Why aren't you with Castiel?"

"Nurses kicked me out to bathe Cas and change his dressings. What took you so long?"

Sam held up the paper bag. "We brought food."

Dean's shoulders sagged. "Thank God," he groaned. "The coffee here sucks." 

"So how is he?" Dean's eyes hardened as they landed on me, and he pressed his lips into a thin line. He led us over to a secluded corner and started pulling food from the takeout bag while filling us in. 

"It was quiet mostly," Dean told us around a mouthful of food. "I mean, the guy was sedated, so, you know, he slept, and they came in to check on him a couple of times an hour, getting his vitals and making sure everything was how it should be. His heart rate spiked around six, but it settled back down after a couple of minutes. The nurses couldn't figure out what caused it, and I didn't notice anything strange either."

Sam leaned forward in his chair. "You said that happened around six?"

Dean stopped chewing and put his food down. "Yeah, why?" He looked between the two of us. "Did something happen this morning?"

I wished I could just disappear when Dean glared at me. "I may have had a nightmare that Sam had to wake me up from just a couple of minutes after six," I admitted. 

"What kind of nightmare?"

I shrunk back from the dangerous edge in his voice. "It wasn't a vision, just last night on replay. Apparently I started screaming when Lucifer showed up, and Sam had to pull me out of it."

Dean glanced at his brother. "Think it's connected?"

"It's gotta be. They're soulmates, so their bond is stronger than most under normal circumstances. Add in the fact that Cas is an ex-angel who's currently in a coma, and you've got yourself a cocktail stiff enough to break all the rules."

"You might be onto something."

Sam raised his eyebrows and cocked his head.

"When can we go back in?" I interrupted. I was getting tired of just sitting out there knowing Castiel was so close but still out of reach.

Dean checked his watch. "A couple of minutes ago, actually. What's in the bag?"

"Just a few things we picked up for him and the stuff to ward his room," I answered. 

"Good idea, Sammy."

Sam swallowed some coffee and pursed his lips. "Wasn't my idea," he said pointedly. "It was Melanie's."

Dean blinked. "Oh. Well, uh--"

"Save it, Winchester." I got up and turned on my heel, heading straight for the ICU. My heart was pounding the whole way, my mind chanting the angel's name in time with the beat. 

I scrawled warding onto the heavy double doors before hitting the buzzer and waiting. 

And waiting. 

And waiting. 

I frowned after a couple of minutes and hit it again, holding the thing down for just a moment longer than necessary, but again, all I got was silence. 

"What's going on?" Sam asked from behind me. I turned and saw both brothers heading my way.

"I don't know. I haven't gotten an answer yet."

Dean strode forward and jabbed the button several times until we finally got an answer. The woman's voice was breathless and impatient as she came on the line. "Yes?"

"It's Dean Winchester. I'm here to see my brother."

"No, you can't come in here! It's not safe!"

What?

Dean pounded on the wall above the intercom. "Just open the damn door!"

The door clicked, and we were all rushing through it immediately. Sam and Dean quickly outran me, and I heard their raised voices mixed in with others' from up ahead.

"The hell are you doing, man?!"

"Hey! Watch it! You're gonna hurt someone!"

"Just calm down, alright?"

"Put the needle down!"

When I rounded the nurse's station, I could just make out several shadows in Castiel's room through the blinds, and I bolted through the door. 

Two nurses were standing between the bed and the door, their arms outstretched palms-out, and fear etched into their features while Sam's big frame separated them from the commotion on the other side of the bed where Dean was with his back to me, but I could just make out a shock of dark hair over his shoulder. Dean was knocked back, and my eyes widened when they connected with the wild stare from the person responsible for the blow.

"Castiel?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't exactly where Iwas going with this chapter, but the idea struck me, and I went with it. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for sticking with me this far. I hope to have the next part up as soon as I can.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
